Did anyone save my swan song?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Did anyone save my swan song?
Mon, 04-07-2003 - 3:03pm
Jumping in, kind of OT, kind of not...

With the new setup, I can't find my old swan song, on archive 25 (message 27?). If anyone saved it, can you email it to me? halexisp@dca.net. I want to post it elsewhere. It seems to have been helpful ... maybe it will help someone else.

As for me, I'm still healed - enough so that I completely forget I was ever abused, unless I am reminded by someone who needs comfort or guidance, or by peculiar circumstances. I live in a state of not-having-my-life-interefered-with-by-my-past. Let me say, that is more grace than I dared hope, by miles. And it is possible, because I live it. Every day.

My sons are both well and growing, I'm learning more and more each day about being a mother, wife, friend, human. It is humbling, and sometimes very scary. But all it takes for my heart to sing is to stand and look at the sky, the same way I did that first day I stepped free, and the tears of joy well up again.

It is truly amazing how flexible, powerful, potent, and resilient we humans are... some experiences are too much to survive, but yet, here you all are, not only still alive, but seeking wholeness in spite of not knowing (yet) if it is possible.

It has been so long, I have forgotten the exact text of my closing - but it was something like "good healing" ...

so, good healing, and I hope someone saved it. I would regret not finding it again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 04-07-2003 - 3:19pm
Great to hear from you. I'm glad to see things are going so well for you.

I was thinking you could do a search but I don't think the search function will help you very much b/c it doesn't seem to want to search back further than a year or so ago. You could just go through the tedious task of backing through the archives. That's a bear, I know, but it might be the best way to find it. All I know is, it hasn't been lost.

Take good care of yourself,


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Mon, 04-07-2003 - 4:22pm
Opal, do you mind if I leave the thanks note (to you) in the text (posted on my weblog site)... I'll trim it out if you like, but with no other reference (other than that it is an iVillage message archive), I thought it might be okay? But I don't want to expose you to more view than necessary without your express permission. (I've removed it for now, I can put it back easily.)

I did find it by paging back, then noticing that the address contained dates. Then editing the dates by hand to get back to a few of my older posts, then looking around. Phew!

My weblog site, by the way: http://pages.ivillage.com/meadowlark_sings/meadowlarksweblog/

Avatar for greenjeanz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Mon, 04-07-2003 - 4:32pm
Meadowlark, we've never "met" before. I came to the board long after you had stopped posting regularly, but I just wanted to thank you for everything you've taught me. One day I read all of your archived posts, because you seemed like a great example to follow. I'm glad to know that the healing journey has an end, and I'm glad to know that your journey is over. I'm gonna get there, too!

Take care,


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 04-07-2003 - 5:14pm
Oh heck, I don't have anything to hide. My ex took care of exposing everything so I just figure I'll go with it! lol

So, don't feel badly about linking anything to me or this site. I'm honored to be part of your weblog, it's very nice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Tue, 04-08-2003 - 2:06am

I only started posting here about two months ago. I clicked on the link to your weblog and really liked it! Is that where you are going to re-post the swan song? I would really like to read it.

It's wonderful that you are able to help others along the healing path you have already been on. I'm so happy that that part is over for you. I hope to achieve that feeling of wholeness and healing.

Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with others.