Confused, upset, rambling...
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|Sun, 04-13-2003 - 1:55am|
I have not been able to shake this feeling I've had for quite some time now. Usually the more depressed and anxious feelings come and go-up and down the proverbial roller coaster. But my anxieties and panic feelings seem to be at an all-time high since all of this mess started (meaning since I remembered the abuse). I try to think about possible reasons it is hitting me so hard and often right now. I remembered the abuse two years ago this month. I'm sure that could be part of it. My dad (who is my abuser) and stepmom are divorcing after 18 years of marriage and my little sister would rather live with my dad. That alone sends me reeling.
It's to the point where I have to force myself when I do go somewhere besides work. I feel like I'm on auto-pilot, but on a collision course at the same time.
I don't know what the point of this post is. I guess it was just to put these thoughts on "paper". Stacy