Just something that has been bothering m

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Just something that has been bothering m
2
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 8:46pm
I don't remember a lot about my early childhood. Most of what I remember happened after third grade. I am now 30. One memory I have is from when I was about 3 years old. I had one of those stuffed animals that were sold as fabric panels and someone sewed. I remember being in the back seat of my parents car and I guess I was "masturbating" on the pillow. I would rub myself on it. I remember my mom being discussed and saying that that is what dogs do. My question is... does a 3 year old know how to do that? Could something have happened that I just don't remember? I have not told this to anyone. Not even my DH. It's just a concern I have that this is something I remember so vividly. It's not like I saw a picture of me doing this and said "oh yeah I remember that"

Thanks,

PS That wasn't the only time I did that. My mom also caught me doing it when I was in first grade. I would also do it during nap time in Kindergarten, But I guess no one ever saw me doing it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 11:13pm
I'm no expert, but from what I've read about child-rearing for my own kids, that is a normal behavior to a certain extent. I don't know how much of that kind of activity is outside the "normal" range, but I do know that self-exploration is a normal part of a child's development, especially at the ages you mentioned.

But that you have a memory blackout period, and that you were suspicious enough about your past history to come to this board *might* indicate that there was some abuse in your past. A good resource is the book, The Courage to Heal. It is very common to block out memories of abuse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 11:34pm
thank you