Do any of you get this way?
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|Fri, 04-25-2003 - 10:25pm|
I know people who simply do not "do" sleepovers to avoid any possibility of anything happening, and to avoid explaining why it's okay to have a sleepover with so-and-so, but not this other person. I feel like sleepovers are an important, fun part of growing up; I loved them. I also know that I can't protect my children against every contingency. But there is a part of me that is like, "if it does happen, it's your fault for not making the decision not to allow sleepovers." It's so scary, too, because you can't identify a perp by appearance or demeanor, necessarily.
The dad of my dd's friend came with friend to pick my dd up. I was doing yard work and we chatted while the girls got dd's stuff together. All the while I'm looking at him trying to determine whether I can get a feel for whether he would do something like that. My dd has been friends with this girl for 4 years, and until this year sleepovers were always at our house because they had some difficult family situations going on. We just always invited her friend over when they wanted to have one, didn't make a big deal about the other stuff; they have an older son who has several chronic illnesses, and for a while there were severe marriage problems. Over the last year things have settled down over there and she's slept over twice. Each time when she comes home I watch her demeanor and she's always happy when she comes home.
Am I nuts? I hate this! Most people wouldn't even be thinking about this every time their kids have sleepovers! I've talked to my husband at length to see if he feels any level of concern about this, and he doesn't. He said that he thinks it's just close to home for me and I project my feelings onto my daughter. He himself experienced SA growing up more than once, so he understands my feelings.
Please tell me I'm okay and that I'm not being irresponsible about my daughter's well-being! Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind!