How Do You Deal?!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
How Do You Deal?!?
1
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 5:09pm
I hate to even bring this up - I was abused when I was a child and I have gone through counselling and the whole deal - had a handle on everything - recognized adult issues based upon what happened to me as a child - and then I started dating someone new and ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL those issues came back into play.

I feel like I have never dealt with them now and I feel back to step one. I feel worthless and ugly and like I am only good for one thing - all which I was "taught" at such a young age - which I know isn't true - but sure feels like it at times. I find myself doing stupid things just to feel "loved" - which has NOTHING to do with love ya know?!?! I don't even know if I am making sense to anyone.

Where do I go from here? How do I stop how I am acting and realize that I AM worthy of true love and not to be used for sex and how do I realize that I am better than that. What happened to me when I was little I had no control over but now I do and I am not stopping this craziness! Does this make any sense?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Sun, 05-04-2003 - 3:19am
I find that my weekly AMAC meetings are a great tool for me to continue my recovery and for helping me to amend the subtle (and not so subtle) ways my abuse has affected my life. AMAC=adults molested as children. It's a group therapy situation. Each week, we meet for two hours and do "check ins," where we discuss situations that came up for us in the last week which we feel are "AMAC" issues. Sometimes I don't realize something is an AMAC issue, until I hear someone in the group talking about it. I often just accept parts of my life as "normal" without realizing how they're related to/colored by the abuse.