QOTW: Envy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
QOTW: Envy
6
Sun, 05-04-2003 - 3:22am
I was wondering if anyone here struggles with envy as a result of their sexual abuse history. Do you feel envious of other women? Of men? Of people who had normal childhoods?

If you have found a way to address this problem, please share that, too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 05-04-2003 - 2:35pm
I'm certain many people suffered a lot more serious abuse than I did, but any abuse is too much... But I have never felt envious of anyone for their normal childhoods, because anyone I know really well has experienced sexual abuse or had a family member who did. It seems much more prevalent than statistics would show.

Mary

Can that be my introduction? Ha.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Sun, 05-04-2003 - 4:25pm
Welcome to the board! It's nice to meet you & I look forward to getting to know you better!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Mon, 05-05-2003 - 7:35pm
Envy is something that definitely crops up from time to time with me. I look at other people who haven't had to deal with this and see how carefree they are, and I have always wished that I could feel this way. Ever since childhood I have felt burdened down by sadness. I had to become an adult very quickly. I don't remember being a typical carefree kid after the age of 5.

I've always been a deep thinker, and I think some of this is due to the SA and the sense I had of not being as important or valued as other children. I needed someone to notice I was hurting, and of course most people didn't see the signs. I think I've always been trying to sort out why I felt the way I did.

How wonderful it would be to be unfettered in life by these kinds of things, especially at a young age! One thing I am glad about is that my children are living pretty normal lives (other than the fact that they both have AD/HD), and the things they think about and talk about are normal kid things. I'm glad that I don't feel envious of THEM. I feel happy that I've been able to "break the cycle" (I was raised in a family where both parents had issues and projected a lot of their frustrations and anger on us kids. I don't do that) and that they live lives that are relatively worry-free.

Good question; it was good to think about this. Heidi

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Mon, 05-05-2003 - 11:30pm
Sometimes I feel very envious of people that had

a normal childhood. I haven't figured out how

to get past that.

Precia

Precia

            Cl-Families and Mental Illness

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Tue, 05-06-2003 - 2:33am
Well, I have struggled with envy, and I've been trying to work on it recently, but I'm stuck. I don't know what to do about it. I am usually envious about the way people look--weight, in particular. I have always been that way. I know in my mind that the root of the problem is my own insecurity about the way I look. But my understanding stops there. I don't feel envious of people who had happy childhoods. I don't know why. I just don't. But I am almost always comparing the way I look with others' appearances. And of course I never meaure up. I'd really like to put that behind me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-08-2003 - 9:39am
Yes, I totally deal with this ALOT!! I am envious of my one SIL, it's hard to be around her, because she kinda throws it in your face that she has the "perfect" parents and her mom does everything for her, and she doesn't know what she'd do without her mom, and her mom is her "best friend". I find myself envious of more "normal" women and wonder why I got screwed over sometimes. It's gotten a little better, but am still struggling with it. I do have a lot to be thankful for, so I try to remember that.

Amy
Nurturedheartmom

Amy -