no desire

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dansgirl223
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
no desire
1
 Mon, 05-12-2003 - 1:58pm
i have no desire to have sex with my b/f of a year and a half. i was in an abusive relationship about 5 years ago (im 19 now)...but that was 5 years ago! shouldn't i be over it?! this is really tearing me and him apart. he thinks ive cheated on him bc i dont want to have sex with him, but i haven't, nor will i ever. im gonna marry him. he's absolutely wonderful, but the sex sucks and i dont know if it's a chemical imbalance or it's all in my head. any advice?
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cl_free_girl_123
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
In reply to: dansgirl223
no desire
 Mon, 05-12-2003 - 7:18pm
Welcome to the board. You asked, "Shouldn't I be over it?" and I had some thoughts on that question. It's important to know that a lack of interest, or even an aversion to sex is a very common after-effect of abuse. Your reaction is a very natural one to have--natural, but not insurmountable! I'd recommend a book called "Incest and Sexuality," by Wendy Maltz. Also, "The Sexual Healing Journey."

Do you have a therapist? Is this something you could discuss with her?

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