Just need to tell someone.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Just need to tell someone.....
2
Thu, 05-29-2003 - 12:14am
I'm am 19. When I was 14, I was raped by someone close to me. I have never told anyone, and it is eating me up inside. I am still so angy and hurt all these years later. I have never confronted the person. Its been horrible, because ever since then, I have been uncomfortable around males. Apart from my father and brothers, I just can't trust anyone else. I just want to forget the whole thing happened. And the funny thing is, I blame myself. I get embarassed about the whole thing, even though i know i didn't do anything wrong. Has anyone else been through a simillar experience. How did you deal with it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Thu, 05-29-2003 - 7:42pm
First--welcome to the board and congratulations on coming here to tell the truth about what happened to you. That takes a tremendous amount of courage. I recommend that you get a book called The Courage to Heal. I also recommend that you don't minimize what was done to you. Just because it was one time doesn't make it less significant. These kinds of events have severe and long-lasting influences on our psyches and on our view of the world and how we interact with the world. But there is hope! It takes a lot of work and a lot of dedication and commitment, but healing is possible. You can do it, and you are worth it! Stick around, read our archives. I think you'll find that you are not alone.

(((hugs)))

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Thu, 05-29-2003 - 9:07pm
I also welcome you to our board! I couldn't have said it any better than Freegirl already has. It is very common for SA survivors to feels guilt over what happened to them, and to feel anxiety.

Coming here to tell about it is a wonderful step! I remember the first time I came here, I took a deep breath and then started typing. I was so nervous! From there I made the decision to addresss it in therapy, and I have come a long way since then. Therapy has been so helpful in helping me to understand my reactions to things, and why I feel the way I do about certain things.

I liked what Freegirl said about not minimizing your experience. It needs to be addressed by you as being the awful, wrong thing that it was, and that no one should have done this to you. Taking that step involves going through some heavy-duty emotions, and it's a good idea to have a counselor to work through this with so that you have the support you need; a "safe place" to talk about it.

I hope you feel comfortable here and find support that is helpful to you. We here to hug and listen.

Love, Heidi

HeidiRose

co-cl, Sexual Abuse Healing Board