I need a pep talk

Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
I need a pep talk
6
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 10:15am
Never mind. Thanks


Edited 6/8/2003 2:44:08 PM ET by opal45
**gentle hugs**

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
In reply to: opal45
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 12:11pm
I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I know those feelings. My sponsor taught me a new tool. (New for me, anyway.) She calls them "reality checks." One of the slogans in OA is that "feelings are not facts." She says that when I get a feeling--for me it's usually fear or anxiety, but I think this tool would work on any negative feeling--I should stop, look around, and take an inventory of what's going on in my reality. Then compare what I see with how I feel. Oftentimes, the feeling doesn't match the reality. Just noticing that helps me dissolve that feeling and find other ones to take its place. I think this works for me because it encourages me to get my feelings from my present instead of from my past.

You're not worthless, a hopeless case, or useless. I know that every time I see that you've made a post, I hurry to read it. You are full of wisdom and generosity.

Do you feel like you're struggling with perfectionism right now? I often feel those emotions when I'm beating myself with the perfectionism stick. Another thing OA has taught me is how debilitating and destructive perfectionism can be. I never knew that. Just a thought.

I hope it helps to know that you are valued and treasured here! (((hugs)))

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
In reply to: opal45
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 4:22pm
Opal, wanted you to know I read your post and I care. . .I have to log off right now but I will respond tonight when I get back on.

Keep hanging in there.

Love, Heidi

HeidiRose

co-cl, Sexual Abuse Healing Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
In reply to: opal45
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 8:18pm
Okay, I'm back--whew!

Took my kids to Barnes & Noble to get the summer reading program, after having dd mouth off to me for about 10 minutes. Think her Adderall was wearing off. She's getting better but when she gets "stuck" in being unreasonable and not listening it's really frustrating.

One thing I love about Barnes & Noble is that they have classics that they publish in hardbound for only $5.98! While I was there I saw that they had The Count of Monte Cristo so I came home and begged a couple of extra dollars from my husband because I already used up my grocery/grooming & cleaning crap/something fun if you can justify it budget. :o) It's LONG! So it will last me until the new Harry Potter book comes out!

I loved the suggestions Freegirl had. You and she both have so much wisdom and experience! I feel very unqualified at times to offer advice, so maybe I can just let you know that you are an inspiration to me in my healing. I always look forward to your posts. Thanks to you I've been able to do Inner Child healing, which I was really unsure about trying at first.

Seeing that someone like you who has already come so far and has so much wisdom about this can still have bad days lets me know what an ongoing process this is.

I liked the idea of identifying your reality. It's so easy to get lost in "haunting" feelings from the past, and they can be so overwhelming. When I feel like this, I also give myself permission to take it a little easier. I have to give myself permission for this because there is a lot of guilt associated there with not working myself to the bone. I'm learning to be nicer to myself.

I just wanted you to know that I care, and hope that you start feeling better. I am very grateful for your influence on this board! You have helped me a lot. In the meantime, I'll send my thoughts and prayers your way.

Love, Heidi

HeidiRose

co-cl, Sexual Abuse Healing Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
In reply to: opal45
Fri, 06-13-2003 - 1:32am
Opal,

Can you e-mail me when you get a chance? I'm going to be in St. Louis in July and if you are interested, I'd love to try to arrange to meet you.

Thanks.

Patricia

PS I hope you got the needed pep talk!

Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: opal45
Fri, 06-13-2003 - 7:05am
You bet I will!!
**gentle hugs**

Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: opal45
Fri, 06-13-2003 - 11:04am
Sending an email to you via your iVillage profile isn't working. And I'm not sure if you're still using the AOL address I've used in the past. Why don't you email me at gailp@lehman-gates.com and fill me in on your plans. I would love to get together if it can work out.
**gentle hugs**