Access to new victims.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Access to new victims.
5
Fri, 06-13-2003 - 9:01pm
i feel really bad for leaving this so long. I should have maybe done something sooner. I hope it's not a worry. My story is kinda on here but bottom line is my father molested me for years and has never been charged. I have a 4 year old neice that my father and step-mother take care of weekly as well as a 6 year old nephew. Now my other sister is expecting a baby in December. It seems my father may have access to a whole new set of victims. For all I know he could already have done something. What do I do? If I write my sister-n-law (mother of 4 year old) and tell her, will she even believe me? I do not live in the same city as all of them. I'v tried to distance myself as much as possible and I would hate to think my lack of strengh could cause another child to be abused. I have also considered bring charges against him formally. Lately I can't stop thinking about it. Any advice'll help. Thanx.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Fri, 06-13-2003 - 9:05pm
I think you should tell the parents of the children who are at risk. If they choose not to believe you, at least you tried. I can't really advise you about prosecuting him formally--I don't know how to go about doing that--but I do know that I wish someone had tried to help me when I was a kid.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 12:46am
If you don't want to tell your family, you may file a confidential report with Child Protective Services. Let them know that you were molested and are worried about minor children. You don't have to give them your name or any identifying information, but they will send someone out to talk to the children and their parents. At least they will be warned. Child Protective Services are listed, or you can call information for your local number. Please protect the children, how our lives would be different if someone had protected us. Take good care of you, and write back and tell us what happened.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2002
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 2:45pm
Hi,

I think you know in your heart what you need to do and perhaps just need a gentle boost from us. That's fine! I can understand how you might be feeling because I have struggled with similar issues and although you don't know for sure that they are being molested by your father, you do know that he poses more of a risk to these kids than the average person on the street because he has both a history of molestation as well as easy access! He is also, no doubt, someone the kids (and most other family members) trust and so that is an added concern. Please consider making that anonymous call to your local child protective agency!

As for your thoughts of filing a suit against your father for the abuse, I would be willing to share my experiences with you and help you determine what is right for you IF you feel you want some help. It does need to be YOUR decision since it is one that will have an intense and far reaching impact on both you and your family, but if you need some answers to help you reach that decision, I am here. Take care, Lori
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 6:59pm
I can certainly understand your conflicting feelings. That's a tough spot to be in. I do think it would be best to have the parents of the children notified, as already suggested. They can decide what to do from there and you'll have a free conscience.

Heidi

HeidiRose

co-cl, Sexual Abuse Healing Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 10:49pm
Thanks. Thanks for the support and the "gentle boost". I'm not quite sure what route to take but regardless be reassured it will be done by the end of the week even if I do indeed have to write a letter myself. I've made an inquiry locally telling them of my plight so to speak. If I do not hear back soon I guess I'll have to pull the courage up myself.

As to filing suit, yes. I would love to hear of any personal experiences. My email is on my profile if you do care to share. Again thank-you for understanding.