Thank YOU ALL !!!Read on...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2003
Thank YOU ALL !!!Read on...
3
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 8:42pm
Dear ellienad...

Dear cl-free_girl_123...

Dear cl-breakinfree...

Thank you for responding to my message.

I would like to add and few words...

I have been suffering from depression and compulsive obsessive disorder.

It was my husband who gave me an ultimatum: get help or get out.

Then... when he said... I refuse to live with a "freak"... those words hurt sssooo bad.

But today after I got HELP for myself...

I am grateful that he said what he said back then.

The fact ... he was sssooo hard on me...

That hurt bad and at the same time that was just the medicine I needed.

Anyway... I have been on some meds and am going to counseling for the last three years.

I am not sure what I will do...

Maybe give him the same ultimatum?

Maybe keep things just the way they are?

Maybe I will leave him?

I don't know...

He will not get help... as far as counseling.

"I was told by him: don't ever, ever ask me to go for counseling.

Don't ever talk to me about my issues. I refuse to talk to you about them or anyone else".

So... girls... wish me luck...

I will be OK, I know it... because I know that before I make THE decision...

I will do whatever I can to give him a chance.

Again...Thank you....

Isabella.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 11:38pm
Good luck. I'm glad that at least you're willing to get the help you need. Hopefully your dh will come around. I've said some major ultimatum things in my life that I said out of fear and didn't really mean. Maybe that's where he's coming from. (((Hugs)))
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 06-26-2003 - 12:34am
Sorry to hear all that hun, good luck to you. You are probably right if he's that adament about not getting help. Then it becomes more a question of staying on a sinking ship or getting in the lifeboat. I disagree with his choice of words or name calling to be exact. Nobody needs that. but that's just my opinion.

Anyways, don't wait too long if it's compromising you, then do give him that ultimatum, especially if any children are involved. But once again all the luck in the world to you hun. Stay strong, you sure have a good heart.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Thu, 06-26-2003 - 3:27pm
You're welcome. I'm glad you've gotten the help you need. I think the things he said to you are awful, though.

You are probably right about counseling not being a possibility. I'm sure that is frustrating for you.

You sound like a very compassionate person, and I admire you for being willing to give him every chance. I know you'll end up doing what is best. Just make sure that you're good to YOU.

Love, Heidi

HeidiRose

co-cl, Sexual Abuse Healing Board