iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Wed, 07-02-2003 - 7:01pm
I have been dealing with suicidal ideation and depression which is why I haven't posted in awhile here. I saw my therapist Kara yesterday and she seems to hav the impression that I don't want to get out of this slump and move on with my life. She says when we talk about the abuse I go over the gory details of what happened but I don't understand then how else I am supose to heal from it. Can anyone help me because I don't know how to go about healing from it but she says it has been 20 yrs get over it. It has never been dealt with and now I am being told I am not doing it the right way. What am I suppose to do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Wed, 07-02-2003 - 9:58pm
She really said that to you?! I think that is a horrible thing to say. Has she helped you to understand it, has she helped you identify what feelings stem from the abuse? That's what her job is. I would guess that the suicidal ideation you've been going through is a symptom of what you've been through. She should be helping you get to the root of what's causing your feelings. If she's not doing this then I'd say dump her and get a new counselor.

My husband had very suicidal feelings last fall, and our counselor did a wonderful job of helping him to identify the reasons feelings were there. Medications can help with getting through the day, but they don't solve the underlying problem. It's not up to you to just instinctively understand and then instinctively heal. That is what she is supposed to TEACH you. I can't believe she said it's been 20 years and to get over it. That is awful. If it's not being dealt with in the right way then that is largely her fault if in all the time you've been seeing her she hasn't guided you through it. For a lot of people it takes a lot to just get to the point from not dealing with it to saying they're ready to try.

You keep posting here as often as you need to! Your posts don't have to be only about the sexual abuse specifically, as far as I'm concerned. You are someone who has been through it and you have a lot of things you are dealing with in addition to, or because of, it.

Hugs and listening ears, Heidi


co-cl, Sexual Abuse Healing Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 6:46pm
GEEZE LOUISE! And she calls herself a therepist? I'd like to know what school she went to. That was one of the first things my therepist told me i had to get over; "getting over it". She says it's easy enough for people to say that who have never been there but it is not reality. She is a survivor herself.

Also have you talked to your doctor about Post Tramautic Stress Disorder? While suicidal feelings can exist (like mine) that does not necssarily mean we are suicidal and obsession of the abuse (or constantly rehashing like me in your head) is also a symptom. I'm in the process of a diagnosis. if it is a reality it answers a lot of the same questions. Good Luck to you and stay strong, Remember "doctors" can be wrong and insensitve, we need to be prepared to say so and find one who will listen and be supportive.