iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Sun, 07-06-2003 - 9:14am
I went to therapy, told my story, and my therapist has suggested EMDR - which she describes as being hypnotized but being fully aware of what's going on...has anyone else undergone this treatment?

I really don't think I will choose to do it. She seems to think my pain is caused by repressed memories, I think I remember enough to work with and to heal from. It's early in the therapy, but I'm wondering if I should stop for now or possibly look elsewhere. I got irritated this session when she suggested that some people should stay single, since I had told her in my last session that I have not had any real relationship with anyone. I don't know if that was supposed to be comforting, but I let her know that one of my desires in life was a family someday. I felt like someone was telling me I couldn't have a simple dream, something that millions of people have. I didn't like that. The fact that I'm fighting depression and at times deep feelings of loneliness, should have been a hint that it wasn't the way to go. Maybe I'm too emotional lately....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: spiderwebb2000
Sun, 07-06-2003 - 1:34pm
I'd never heard of it (which doesn't mean anything) -- but a google search revealed it stands for EYE MOVEMENT DESENSITIZATION & REPROCESSING. Here's the link for the 330 or so hits: http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&q=emdr

I believe there are didn't types / styles of therapy, but to me the most important thing is the relationship / rapport with your psychiatrist / therapist.

Is this the first one you've seen? Did someone recommend her to you? You can ALWAYS see someone else. You have to remember that you are the consumer in this. It's your money (even if insurance is paying for it). Think of it like a hairdresser -- you're happy as a long-haired blond and your stylist keeps wanting to color it black and cut it short. Well, MAYBE it would look good on you. But then again, maybe it wouldn't. Maybe you've had that style before and you know you don't want it again.

Your therapist has to be willing to work with you. That doesn't mean you can disagree withe verything and she'll change her opinions, but that also doesn't mean she disagree with you on everything and you have to change.

I have found it is truly a team effort. My T and I luckily have a great rapport and she'll say things -- and she might say "I'm not saying you "have" to do this, but give it some thought." And its worked both ways -- in two sense. I've said the same thing to her and she later saw my viewpoint. And I gave one of her ideas some thought and eventually liked it or was able to use something from it.

If you aren't happy, then find someone else. That is the ultimate choice you will have to make. And its only one you can make.

You can ask other doctors for referrals (your ob/gyn, ENT, internist, etc) or if you know someone in therapy ask them how they like their P/T.

Good luck and hopefully the google search might help you find out some more about EMDR.



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
In reply to: spiderwebb2000
Sun, 07-06-2003 - 11:34pm
My husband has benefitted tremendously from hypnotherapy. He is completely aware of his surroundings and is in control of his faculties during it. Hypnosis isn't part of every session, but when it is usually our therapist talks with him for the first part of the session and uses points from their discussion to guide him through the hypnosis. It's really just a deep state of relaxation. She has done it with me a couple of times, using positive imagery and affirmation statements to help with my anxiety and not turning to food when I'm having a hard time. I was really nervous to try it at first, so I was more resistant than my husband, who has wanted to have this done for years and years for his repressed memories. He gets a lot more out of the hypnosis than I do, because I have a harder time letting go.

You definitely have to be the one to decide whether or not you want to do this, and I think that being comfortable with your therapist is really, really important. If you're upset and uncomfortable with things she says and with her approach, definitely look at getting another one. If you want to give it some time, maybe it would be a good idea to write down what bothered you this time and why, as well as writing what YOU want to address in therapy. Take that with you next time and use it as a prompter, and start talking right away about what you want from your sessions. It's okay for you to guide the discussion in the way you want it to.

Of course you can marry and have a family! That is not an unreachable dream, and the fact that you are getting help now will help you to be the kind of wife and mother you want to be. You'll be that much better off going into it.

I think that we are more emotional during times of depression and loneliness, but I don't think your reactions to what she said are unreasonable. Was this your first visit with her? Maybe give it another visit or two before making a decision. Therapy is best when you have a good repoire with your counselor. Like Tia said, you are the consumer and you have the right to change if you don't feel that she is giving you what you need.

In the meantime, good job on telling your story. That is an accomplishment in and of itself. I hope you start feeling better soon; in the meantime come here as often as you need to.

Hugs, Heidi


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