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|Tue, 07-08-2003 - 10:18pm|
I have a serious issue with touching. In my heart/mind all touched places (toes, ears, knees) lead to the other places, therefore all body parts are off limits to anyone but hubby. Even a hand on the back of my wrist causes discomfort. I know this is not truth, but I still feel this way. It causes me problems because I have a hard time hugging my kids (I do and always have hugged them, but it is forced on my side and I'm sure they know this - they know why too.) I would like to dismantle this wall. I don't want this wall between me and my grandson. He is a very affectionate little boy and I am finding I have concerns about how I'm touching him. Kisses anywhere but on top of the head feel awkward. Scratching his back, I'm okay with. Playing piggies with toes is okay. Patting his knee is not. Even changing his diaper causes discomfort for me. How to clean his dirty diaper up without touching private parts. Okay, I know this is silly, but, really, does anyone else deal with such angst over what looks so simple for everyone else?
Bear in mind I would never, ever in a million years do anything inappropriate to ANY child, I just seem to have a very long list of inappropriates that I would like to examine.