Dazed and confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2001
Dazed and confused
1
Tue, 07-15-2003 - 6:35am
It's been a while since I've posted to this board, not much has happened. I haven't really made much headway, so I thought it was kind of pointless to try and write anything. Well, I'm in Ireland, studying at the National University of Ireland, Galway, for a month, and since I've gotten here, things have been...almost Twilight Zone-ish. I, who barely got a first look, let alone a second, in over two decades, am suddenly now actively pursued by several attractive people. And it's kind of freaking me out. WHY NOW?? What the hell do these people want from me? If they had any clue what they were dealing with, they'd be miles away by now. I feel like I ought to warn them off, but...How do you explain that you've been pretty much emotionally numb for over six years? I don't know what to do. I'm going out to a movie with a guy tonight--first date I've ever been on in my LIFE. I think I'm in denial. Theoretically, I know what I ought to be feeling, but I don't feel anything. Anything at all. It's all so far away from me, I could be reading a book about someone going on a date, not having anything to do with me at all. I have a general idea about how to act, how to dress, what to say, and what not to say, but the details are fuzzy. What happens if I give the wrong impression, again, and something like last summer happens again?...I don't know if I could take that...

Dazed and Confused in Ireland,

Rosebride

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Tue, 07-15-2003 - 11:30am
I think it's so great that you're going on the date. I think I understand your feelings. Our situations were different, but I isolated myself, too. I hope that you are able to enjoy yourself & that some of those defensive walls will come down so that you can enjoy friendship and intimacy. Please let us know how the date went! (((hugs)))