Need compassion before I share my story

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Need compassion before I share my story
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 12:04pm
I'm trying to feel brave enough to share my story, but it is very frightening to do. How did those of you who shared already prepare yourself, or did you just go ahead? I guess I'm really scared that I'll put my words out there and no one will respond. That would be the worst case for me, not the telling, but no one listening, or minimizing like I do. I feel so vulnerable putting myself out there like that. But then again, I'd like to push myself and share me. Any thoughts?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 1:02pm
julikay, I understand your feelings completely. I think that my experiences in AMAC have helped to make it easier to share my story. I used to shake uncontrollably whenever I talked about "it." I don't do that anymore, but it took a long time to get past that.

The "My Story" section of the board wasn't meant to pressure anyone. Whenever you feel ready, you can post your story. I'm sure that the loving, compassionate members here will read and respond lovingly and compassionately to you--whenever you are ready. I find it very validating just to be believed and heard--I think because no one in my family really hears or believes me (or ever will!).

So take your time! We'll be here to support you whenever you are ready!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 1:29pm
Whenever you are ready Julikay...I didn't even know I needed to tell,But some how I found myself here.

I try to come everyday but that is not always posible. But I promise if I see that you have posted your story I will read it and respond to you, you will not be ignored by me.

Hugs and Peace to you,



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 5:34pm
Hey, sweetie--

Like freegirl said, this section wasn't put there to make anyone feel pressured. You can share whenever you are ready.

As far as preparation goes, I don't know. For me I just took a deep breath and did it. I guess because I was sick of keeping quiet and needed a way to speak out, although I wasn't ready to tell anyone in person. I pretty much spilled my guts the first time I came here. The nice thing about sharing here is we can't "see" each other, so it's a lot more anonymous, but yet there is still wonderful support here. Also, with typing you can take your time, change things, etc. to what you feel good about saying. I know that "talking" here has made it a lot easier for me to talk to my husband and therapist. It's like practicing to me. I think this is a good place to take some of those steps.

I feel sure that you will have loving responses here. I also try to come here every day; if by chance I don't answer right away when and if you decide to share, it's not because I'm ignoring you; it would be because I haven't made it back on the board yet. I do understand the anxiety you're feeling. Know that we're here for you, and if you decide you're not ready that's okay. You can still post about other aspects of what you're dealing with, like you have been.

Hugs, Heidi


co-cl, Sexual Abuse Healing Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 6:36pm
Thanks to those of you who replied to me. Your responses made me cry, and that's a good thing. Thanks for your loving support, and I will try to post when I feel ready. It helps so to feel cared for.
Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 07-17-2003 - 8:39am
Hi Julikay,

I have a few friends on the board who just canNOT post their story. That's perfectly appropriate. It doesn't mean anything. Hey, they just can't. No biggie.

The "My Story" section simply gives us a place to post our history IF we care to. I like it b/c I can refer back to it when I read someone's post in another section. It helps me understand where they're coming from.

But the most wonderful thing I wanted to acknowledge for you is your ability to ask for what you want or need. That's huge! And then seeing how your needs were met. Again, that's huge. As children we rarely had that opportunity. It's great when we can learn that lesson as adults b/c it's so vital. Thank you for asking and allowing us to be valuable to you.

**gentle hugs**


**gentle hugs**