Question I need some input on (m)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Question I need some input on (m)
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 1:24pm
My spiritual mother (aka therapist) asked me to come up with some idea of what I mean when I say I want to be HEALED of the SA (or it's impact on my life). I've been thinking a lot about it and decided I would ask you all the same question and see what you think. We spend so much time IN THE PROCESS of healing. What do we expect it to be like at the end?



iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 2:52pm
Healed=happines. For me anyways, that and a whole lot more. Being healed means a time where i can work, face people and face each day knowing i am equal, good and worthy. Healing to me means days that don't overwhelm, where the simple things in life come natural. Healed to me means getting out of my current relationship and taking care of myself. When i can take care of myself, have no shame about what and who i am and enjoy the happiness each day brings i will consider myself healed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 6:29pm
I think that for me I'm after an inner peace. I know life is never perfect, but I want to get to the point where my emotions don't overwhelm the other aspects of my life. I want to truly feel good about who I am without needing validation from other people or feeling a need to constantly explain myself. I want to just BE, and be okay with that.



co-cl, Sexual Abuse Healing Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 10:08pm
What a great question. I really needed to think about this, so thanks for the opportunity.

I answered a question like this a couple of years ago with my T. and here's what I wanted:

1. Being present all the time

2. Trusting other people, being more social

3. Not feeling agitated/improving concentration

4. Getting off meds

5. Feeling "settled" about my family

I'm amazed at how many of these are no longer goals for me, because I've attained them. I'm so glad I kept this list, otherwise I might not have recognized this growth.

My goals now are:

1. To overcome the compulsive eating and get to the point where it's not a daily struggle, and to do that I know that I have to just keep taking one day at a time and keep working my steps.

That's the only one I can think of for right now. It's a biggie, but I'm glad to see the progress from before, because that gives me a lot of hope.

I weighed in at Weight Watchers today, and I have now lost 41.6 lbs. I'm 13 lbs above what they consider to be the upper range of my "goal weight." I'm 177 now, and I haven't weighed this much since I was 18 years old. Of course, it looks a lot different (I hate gravity!) at 32 than it did at 18, but hey--I'll take it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2003
Sat, 07-19-2003 - 9:21am
Im not quite sure what I expect from therapy. I know that I would like to feel normal and healthy. I would like to feel awake and not going through my life in a dream or haze.

I would like to be able to trust people and be more open & friendly, not like a wallflower. I would like to interact with my children like a mother instead of a nanny, (I feel distant often). Bottom line I would like to get out of my shell and not feel ashamed. And answers,I would like answers to some of the holes in my life (memory).I'd like to feel confident, not wondering what everyone is thinking of me or feel like everyone is staring at me. I'd LOVE to feel like a happy, strong, loving, unselfish wife & mother. Oh and to also stop beating my self up.

Can all this be attained? I wonder sometimes.