Poem: Others, Not Me

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Poem: Others, Not Me
2
Fri, 07-25-2003 - 5:44pm
I wrote this last month when I was trying to describe some of my feelings and emotions. It helps me to see in writing what I am dealing with. Since we've been addressing issues of self in some recent posts, I thought this might be a good time to share. Thoughts?

--Removed later for privacy purposes--

Down in the Pick-Me-up folder I also posted a poem that was written by a good friend of mine from another board who deals with abuse, as well. She shared it with me and was gracious enough to allow me to post it here when I asked her if I could. I hope you will enjoy it.




Edited 11/24/2003 7:14:54 PM ET by cl-breakinfree
HeidiRose

co-cl, Sexual Abuse Healing Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Sat, 07-26-2003 - 11:24am
This is a really good poem, Heidi. But it concerns me! I think I have felt this way before. I think this is how I felt when I would argue with my dh that all of our family hobbies were *his* hobbies, and he would ask what *I* wanted to do, and I couldn't even come up with an answer. That has really changed lately, or at least is starting to. Can you make a list of five things you either like to do or would like to learn to do? They don't have to be practical at all--sky diving, scuba diving off the Great Barrier Reef, etc . . . I hope that you can find a way to work through this, because you deserve to have some fun!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Sat, 07-26-2003 - 9:24pm
Thanks, freegirl, for your insight. When I wrote this it was after brainstorming about 4 pages of ideas and I just let it rip. This is something that I AM working on; I'm not as bad off as it sounds in the poem. But I can think back to only a few years ago where I was compulsively overbusy so that I didn't have to be alone with my thoughts, you know what I mean? It was a way of avoiding the pain. I was always plunging in to help my grandmother who was going blind, babysitting for family members, volunteering too much of my time at school, etc. All at the same time. It was like being busy filled up that empty space. I figured out what I was doing, and have forced myself to slow down. Now I'm in a phase where I am trying to figure out who "ME" is. I'm working through the book Healing the Child Within right now, and that has some very helpful pointers for getting back in touch with our true selves.

I will use your suggestion of writing down five things, though. Since becoming a mom I've gotten really good at shoving my wants aside. The thing is, my weight gets in the way of a lot of things that would be on that list. I feel like I'm kind of "stuck."

Thanks so much for your input. You have so much wisdom, and I'm glad I can learn from you! Hugs, Heidi

HeidiRose

co-cl, Sexual Abuse Healing Board