Question of the Week: Expressive outlet

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Question of the Week: Expressive outlet
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 12:02am
What kinds of outlets have you found for your difficult emotions, such as grief, anger, anxiety, etc? Do you exercise? Write? Talk? Other things?

I thought it would be nice to share what kinds of things we have found to help cope with these emotions, since we do deal with them so much as we're trying to recover. And if this is something that is giving you difficulty, please feel free to express that and what the difficult part seems to be. I think we can have a good discussion on this, and hopefully help each other!

I hope everyone has a nice week.

Love and hugs to all, Heidi


co-cl, Sexual Abuse Healing Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 9:39am
hi heidi

i thought i would tell u what i do, but at the moment

its bad, i self-harm and workabouts, but i hope i can

do better things as i get better, i hope there are some

things what other people do on here that i can try, so

come on put some things down, so it can help other people

like me.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 10:55am
My outlet is hands down, writing. I would not call it journaling, but writing. Getting it out of my head and on paper makes me feel better. Sometimes I keep what I have written, and sometimes I don't. If the feelings are particularly disgusting, I tear the paper up, burn it, and sometimes even take it outside and stomp it in the mud. I feel better afterwards, so whatever works I guess! I have been a writer all my life. When things got tough when I was a kid, I wrote. It has been my savior. I have a really tough time speaking the thoughts and words, but I can write them down without a problem. And, if I have to say so myself, I believe I have a "way with words". I am in the process of writing a "book" about my life and experiences. I am not sure what I will need to do with that once it is finished, but I feel the need to do it. I don't know where I would be today without my writing. I feel that it has helped me so much to get thoughts and feelings from being stuck in my head, and getting them out in the midst of things so I can examine them and file them away. My poetry is my favorite form of writing. I sometimes don't know where the words come from, and I am amazed when I go back and reread some of them that they came from me! I lose myself in my writing, and even with my book, I will work on it one day, and a week or two later come back to it and wonder where I got those words to describe things. I love it. Without it I would be a basket case. I can't imagine not being able to write. It is so liberating!



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 6:12pm
I am not good at expressing my emotions right now. When they come up I can't deal and so I think of suicide or I self harm. Sometimes I try to journal and I want to do it more often then what I am currently. I will read or watch a movie. Andrea
Avatar for sunshineydays
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 12:18am
Hi all,

Though it's been quite some time (again), I decided to come here tonight and am glad I did. This question is all too timely for me!

Outlets I have and/or do employ: writing (journaling, poetry, etc.), painting, drawing, other distractions, such as watching a movie, reading, exercising, leaving the house for a bit. Of course, some things work better at different times. The non-productive outlets I have used include self-harm and self-criticism, neither of which help me very long. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean I don't still have it happen.

Thanks for the question...


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 5:46am
From me to me! LOL That always looks so funny.

Writing is probably my main one. Mostly posting on the boards I participate on, but I also journal some and I discovered a couple of months ago that I could write poetry. That has been a good way to express my feelings because I can describe them with imagery, etc. My parents always told me I was melodramatic because of the way I would express myself, so this seems like a good way to put it to use. ;o}

I have also discovered that exercise does wonders for me. The darndest thing, though, is that I have the hardest time making it a habit. Sometimes I'll get going really well for about a month, and then something happens and I get out of the swing of it for longer. Last night I took my kids to the community center to swim while I worked out, and I felt fantastic afterward. I had energy, my outlook was better, and I thought, "Why don't I make myself do this all the time?" There have been times that when I've been really anxious or angry I've gone for a really brisk walk to get all that adrenaline and pent-up energy out, and I feel calmer afterward. So I've discovered this works for me, but I have yet to make it consistent so that it really helps me. :op And I have a lot of weight to lose, so it would definitely be to my benefit!

I love books that are written for youngish readers, like Harry Potter, The Chronicles of Narnia, etc. I just discovered a new fantasy trilogy and read the first one. Books were my escape growing up, so I think that accounts for one of the reasons I love these books. I thought it would be fun to dig out all my old Nancy Drew books and read them. I love to have a good book in progress. It offsets all the sometimes difficult self-help reading that I do.

I also find it relaxing to have my hands busy. At various times I've crocheted like crazy while I sorted my thoughts out; right now I'm learning to hand-quilt. I love creating scrapbook pages. That kind of stuff. I find it soothing. Something about the repetition, I think, where I don't have to really concentrate too hard on what I'm doing and I can think.

I'm starting a yoga class tomorrow, something I've wanted to try for a long time! Hopefully that will be a good way to do positive self-talk.

Well, those are my ideas. Thanks to those of you who have shared, and I hope to see some more posts on this! This is something I definitely need ideas on, because I do not usually handle myself very well under extreme stress or depression.

Hugs to all, Heidi


co-cl, Sexual Abuse Healing Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 5:08pm
I tend to use my art to cope; in fact it is basically what has helped me keep my sanity all thru the years. I do all kinds of art - the kind I sell and more personal stuff. I also created an online gallery of very emotional images relating to feelings I have.

Here is the link:

The Underworld

Warning - some of the images are kind of scary in a horror-movie sort of way, I doubt there is anything triggering in them but some are rather creepy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2003
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 11:59pm
I like to write about my feelings and just throw them away when I am done. It helps sometimes when my feelings are towards someone else I get brave and I give them what I wrote.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Fri, 08-15-2003 - 2:18pm
Nothing healthy that i know of and not much i'd want to admit to outside of Dr/patient confidentiality.