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|Tue, 08-19-2003 - 12:11pm|
I am embarrassed to say that I am at the heaviest weight I have ever been. And being only 5'2", I am way too heavy. I have read about others weight problems on the board, but I wonder how many people here struggle with weight issues? For me I use food as comfort. When I get up in the middle of the night because of bad dreams, or whatever, I eat. I don't even think about it, I just do it. I have been more conscious of this in the last few weeks, and I will get a bottle of water instead. I would like to know how everyone else handles the eating issues and maybe some suggestions on how to break the cycle. I am looking into joining an OA group in my area, but I am really scared to do that. I can't pinpoint why at the moment, but I just feel really scared when I think about doing that. Scared to the point of having chest pains scared. I get really frustrated because I feel that I sabatage my efforts to lose weight. I have been able to lose weight more than once in my adult life, but have never been at a normal weight. The times I have lost weight (and I am talking 60-70lbs), someone (usually male), makes a comment about how "good" I look, and that is the end of my will power and iniative. I guess I don't want to look "good" to other people, especially males. It makes me nervous to know that men think I am attractive. I don't want men to look at me like that! My perps made me believe that the way I dressed, the way I looked, the way I had my hair, was the reason they hurt me. I know that is at the root of it all, but I can't seem to get passed that. Any suggestions? Thanks in advance!