female abuser?

It is more common to hear stories about male abusers, but it happens at the hands of females too, as you know. We don't hear as much about the female abusers. Just recently on the board, last week I think, a mom wrote in about her son being violated by his stepbrother who was raped by his mom. Can't remember the exact thread, but you don't have to go back very far to find it. There have also been other people who have referred to it, but those people haven't been regulars.

Although we all vary to different degrees on who our perpetrators were and the extent of the violations, we all have the aftereffects in common. That too, varies. Although you are feeling alone in regards to the fact that your abuser was your mother, I hope that you will still feel that what is shared here has validity for you. And feel free to express your feelings about what your mother did to you; you have a lot of insight to offer, I'm sure. I hope that you feel that this is a place where you belong and have acceptance.

In a way I think a mother being the sexual abuser is more horrifying. Mothers give birth to their babies and we think of them being the one constant we have. It's always devastating when this happens, but when it's a family member it's the ultimate betrayal. And I think that for me, at least, having it be your mother would be as bad as it could get. Do you feel this way?

I have some dim memories of my mom touching and talking about my privates when I was really little, but I always shake my head when the images come, think "There is no way" and chalk it up to being in my head. There was a lot of "pee-pee" talk in my family, and I've always figured that was just labeling body parts. And it may be that the memory of her saying "this is your. . ." melds in with what happened at the babysitter's house. I don't know. There may be something to it, but that is absolutely something I can't acknowledge as being truth if it did happen. Maybe further along the line. So I think you have great courage to face what your mother did to you honestly.

By the way, I checked out the artwork on your site when you posted it a couple of weeks ago, and wanted to tell you that you have amazing talent! Some of it I couldn't look at (the horror-type stuff you referred to), but you tapped into those emotions really effectively and honestly. I can see where that is a great outlet for you! The quality of your artwork is absolutely incredible. What training have you had? I've always wished I could draw or paint like that!

Hope to hear more from you! Hugs, Heidi