iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 9:27pm

Hi again, this is my hubby's 2nd marriage. I found a letter from his 1st wife and it turns out she had one sexual abuse incident in grade school or junior high. She is a mean and cold person maybe as a result of the abuse I don't know. I think my hubby just associated her behavior as how all people who were sexually abused would act. I hope I have shown him much different.

I met my hubby by the way in 1999 one of the many times I had left my ex. I didn't have a car or a drivers license so I had to use the bus. Well my hubby is a bus driver. He swears he met me on one bus maybe he did and I don't remember because I wasn't paying attention. I remember meeting him on another bus because he dropped me off near my home and we had a brief conversation. Somewhere in the conversation I had mentioned to him where I worked. A week later the girls at work kept saying a guy keeps coming in here and looking for you and says to say Hi. I of course was curious and asked them details, details and more details. I figured it out that it had to be the bus driver. Well we never connected at my job and I had transferred to another store (I worked in retail).

Well one night a month later I go home and there is the bus driver ( he doesn't have the same regular routes) and we talk again until my stop I am getting off and he says hey you want to go out sometime and I was like sure so I gave him my business card with my home #; we held the bus up until all of the exchanging was done. Well then it took like another month to get a date set to go out (I had 3 jobs) plus I was nervous. We went out, it was a great night but I wasn't ready and I also was sort of dating another guy at work I liked also and my ex was calling me, emailing me etc.... Well anyhow things were too hard for me here I had no place to live I was killing myself working 3 jobs and the other guy I liked was moving out of town. So I gave in to the ex and moved back to WA . The ex promised me the blah blah blahs I bought it but when I got there it was the same thing all over again. I couldn't stop thinking of the bus driver. So a year later I wrote him a letter just to thank him for treating me the way he did on our one and only date; the way he treated me changed a lot of things in my life. I wasn't expecting anything from him just wanted to tell him thank you because the date we had made such a big impact in my life. He called me! then he wrote to me and so we started talking via phone (and did for almost a year) and then he wanted to come see me. One problem, the ex I hadn't told him I was dumb enough to go back to that man. Well then of all crazy things my phone service was shut off and I was bit by my injured cat (caused a 5 hour visit to the emergency room and 3 days off work) the day I was supposed to call him to let him know if he could come up and visit me. I didn't call and then I was afraid to call him. So months went by and I came down to OR to visit my daughter & family and to interview for a job transfer. My ex thought I was just coming down for a visit. Well I talked to my daughter about this guy and showed her the letter he had written and she bugged me to call him but I was such a chicken; imagine acting like that at 35. Well I didn't call but the day I left my daughter and I were talking about it and she snatched the letter and says when you leave I am calling him. She called him and told him I wanted to talk to him but I was a chicken. LOL...

Well I finally moved and my daughter came up to ride with me and told me she called him and he was so excited to hear I was moving down to Or and told her he would love to hear from me but to tell me to call if I wanted to. Well I got here and everyone started bugging me to call. I waited 2 days and called hoping for the answering machine and I got it. So I left a message and he called me and we went on a date that night and we were inseparable from that day on. Well a month later he is like will you marry me and I said yes. We were married 4 months later. Well now we have been married one year July 20.