Prayers please

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Prayers please
2
Sun, 08-31-2003 - 10:30pm
I'd like to ask for prayers for my mom. I'm not the closest to my parents, I think I've written a little about them here. They weren't the greatest, but they did the best they could I think. At any rate, mom has always taken care of dad and never been sick. Well she's apparently been sick for quite a while. She has had emergency surgery for a perforated bowel, her kidneys have shut down and her lungs are filled with fluid. She is on a ventilator and having dialysis daily. It is falling to me, for a large part, to care for them and I'm highly confused about the feelings, or lack of. It's not real. This is me, doing what I'm supposed to, but it's fake. I find myself holding my mom's hand, when I've never wanted to before. But now I do want to. Maybe I did growing up as well, but mom never had time for me and wasn't demonstrative to boot. Maybe I want prayers for me as well, now that I think about it. I'm scared. I've managed to take my mom to the ER and be with her through all this, and done the best I can. I've managed to shuttle my dad back and forth to the hospital, he has emphysema and is on oxygen 24/7 and can't walk from one end of a room to the other without running out of breath. I've managed to get him to eat, I haven't managed to keep him from drinking. I have managed to not join him, but I really, really, really would like to. I don't know if I would stop if I started though.

At any rate, prayers and good thoughts will be much appreciated.

Thanks,

Deb

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
In reply to: memedeb
Mon, 09-01-2003 - 3:22pm
Hello Deb

I am sending prayers up high for you and your family.

-eb

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
In reply to: memedeb
Mon, 09-01-2003 - 4:52pm
Wow, Deb--

You are really shouldering a lot. This must be so surreal; is there a part of you that feels like they don't deserve you doing this for them? I'm not saying you SHOULD feel this way; just wondering. This certainly shows what a loving person you are, to be able to give them this kind of a gift. MAKE SURE THEY KNOW AT SOME POINT THAT THIS IS A GIFT YOU ARE GIVING THEM, NOT THAT YOU OWE IT TO THEM. Don't allow them to be verbally abusive or otherwise abusive to you in any way.

As I started reading your post I was thinking, "Wow, Deb needs the prayers as much as/maybe more than her mother does! Then I got to the part where you said that. :o)

I will definitely say a prayer for you and your parents. I hope that you can find ways to be good to yourself through this--take breaks when you need to, find someone to come and relieve you from time to time so you can have time to yourself. When we've put our needs last for so long it's really easy to get buried in something like this.

I hope that this can be a time of your parents showing love to you, too. I'll be thinking of you! Love, Heidi

HeidiRose

co-cl, Sexual Abuse Healing Board