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|Fri, 09-05-2003 - 9:12pm|
I have been away from the boards because I have been feeling overwhelmed, but I am better now. At least I was until my oldest sister came to visit from Tuscon! She and I had begun an email conversation about some things I remember from when I was little, and alot about what I don't remember. She would not answer some of my questions over email, and wanted to wait until she got here to talk to me about them. I told her about a reoccurring dream that I have and asked her if she knew anything about it. In this dream, I am a child, standing in a corner of a bedroom, and there is a nude man on the bed motioning me to come to the bed. I don't know who the man is, and I wake up at the same point in the dream every time. She has been here almost a week, and she has not even mentioned our emails. I don't know how to approach her and urge her to talk to me about my childhood. I am actually afraid of what she has to tell me because I have this fear about what I don't remember. I have not talked to anyone in my family about the SA, and am not so sure that it didn't happen to my other sisters also. So, I guess I just need to open my mouth and ask her to come to my house and talk to me! That is scary to say. I keep thinking that if she didn't know anything about the dream, she would have said so, don't you think? So, I think she knows something. AHHHHHHHH! This is making me feel really uptight and makes my chest hurt, so I am gonna go for now.