overwhelmed...no triggers.
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overwhelmed...no triggers.
| Wed, 09-24-2008 - 10:40pm |
short but not sweet, I have had a few good nights sleep in the last few days 6 hours+ a night thank god, and have broken the 73 hour spell of sleeplessness, starting to feel human again but am still feeling overwhelmed. I had a phone conversation with a possible T today and I liked what he had to say over the phone. I am going to meet him personally at 6:30 pm tomorrow. He has experience with treating childhood trauma, and he's been at it for some 12 years or so. He treats both adults AND children. But I'm nervous and a little scared and overwhelmed that perhaps I may have found some true help after all of these years and after the ONE awesome therapist I had retired. But it means doing the WORK again! Why should WE have to do the work????
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Hi Sue,
I am glad that you have been able to get some sleep over the last few days - getting enough sleep is not only good for your body but it also helps you feel so much more clear headed.
I am also very happy to hear that you have found a therapist that you think will be able to help you - sometimes it seems they are far and few between.
"But it means doing the WORK again! Why should WE have to do the work???? "
I have spoken on here about working to get sex-offender bylaws passed in my town.
Guess what... I think I have a good T... he has a sense of humor, was not even remotely overwhelmed by me even though I decided to lay it ALL out on the table... my brother... the refugee woman we brought over from Cambodia who molested me just the once , OR my Dad. One thing that you can't see about me here is that I have a deep appreciation for humor and SORRY a lack of political correctness. LOL . I told him right out that I'm gay, but also admitted to him my complete lack of interest in being in a relationship. He told ME that his sister is lesbian and is in a loving and kind relationship and that we can work on my fear of intimacy and closeness. He also said that it may be time for me to re-examine the relationships I have in my life and the fact that I have acquaintances, but not friends. I feel very very positive. I feel understood and I am hoping that this is my way to a little freedom from my demons. I have a "real" appointment booked for Tues at 4:30, which is perfect because he is willing to book me after work and before I have to get home to my dogs and cats! The "work" doesn't feel so intimidating in the face of someone who accepts me all out and wasn't scared off! I know that once it starts it's a whole other ball game.. but for mow I feel confident. PS>>> I also told him that I didn't need him to save me... I have been saving myself for nearly 41 years, and he said "I don't save ANYONE, I just try to make the journey a little more clear."
I like this guy!
Hi Sue,
That is wonderful - I am so happy for you!
Sue I am happy you are feeling comfortable with this therapist. Do a little happy dance! :-)
Allie
Allie, I did a little happy dance, and now I'm a bit scared! Thank you for your thoughts and for reading my post.
Sue
Wow! I loved the little happy dancing characters! Thanks Brenda, I feel like I have a little cheering squad going into Tuesdays adventure... but like I said to Allie now I'm getting a little scared! What if I'm not ready!!!!!!!!!!
ps LOVE YOU TOO! ((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))
Sue
Edited 9/27/2008 9:12 pm ET by sueanddogs
Opal, than you for your support, I'm really hoping too. It feels right, I liked the fact that he basically let me interview him before I agreed to diving into therapy with him. My guess is he's seen it all and that's why I didn't faze him in the least. I felt like he was seen WAY more in the spectrum of abuse than where I have been.
Sue
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