if you knew me you would know

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2008
if you knew me you would know
10
Sat, 09-27-2008 - 9:52pm

my apartment is a freaking pig sty.... my laundry has been needing to be done for a month...i have dirty dishes in my sink.... my cat litter has needed to be changed for 4 days... I get up and go to work each day and I RUN a business that is sparkling clean. I have a shop that people LOVE to come to and enjoy. I have employees that love working "for" me. I use "for" loosely because we really are a team... I can run a successful business but I can't successfully run my own life! I'm afraid that when I start therapy on Tuesday I'll be able to do neither and I'm suddenly not so sure that I want to try! I LOVE my store... I love what I do for a living and I have claimed my work life as my identity. I am so scared!

Sue

Avatar for nikki8541
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
Sat, 09-27-2008 - 10:19pm

Hi Sue,


I may be wrong here but your job is not your "identity", it is what you do for a living and it is wonderful that you love it - but it is not all that you are.


Starting therapy is stressful at best - but for this issue it is my opinion that it is so much harder.

Avatar for nikki8541
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
Sat, 09-27-2008 - 10:28pm

Hi Sue,


One more thing - if you were to put a mop in a line-up with other things used to clean the house - I am not so sure I could identify it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2008
Sat, 09-27-2008 - 10:56pm
Kelley in a way my job IS my identity to me... it was my job or be a victim. (in my mind) There are old posts here that can explain this... I lived in group homes and women's shelters for many years... if you want to read back my old user name was jenandcats...
I thank you for your reply but am too tired. My life STARTED with my job.. all I am saying is that I don't think I can sustain my pig-styish home life, my awesome work life AND therapy! i just don't know. My job saved my life! I LOVE being "Auntie Sue" of the neighborhood... I run a pet food store. I didn't call myself that, my customers do... and I finally found something in life that I am really really good at and that I am PROUD OF!... so yeah, my identity is based on my job and the name Auntie Sue, sure beats the one I carried for the first 27 years of my life VICTIM!

Avatar for nikki8541
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
Sat, 09-27-2008 - 11:09pm

(((((SUE))))),


Point heard and understood.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2008
Sat, 09-27-2008 - 11:18pm
((((((((((((((((((((thank you))))))))))))))))))))))))))) for hearing me. I am SO scared!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2008
Sat, 09-27-2008 - 11:21pm
ps... I did not miss the fact that we are both struggling to keep our lives in some clean and orderly state... I was feeling like a slovenly pig... I just can't find the energy once I'm home to make this god awful place more livable!

Avatar for nikki8541
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
Sat, 09-27-2008 - 11:38pm

Hi Sue,


As far as the last post from you - your very welcome.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 1:07am

It totallyl makes sense to me, Sue, why your identity is wrapped up in your job.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 2:42pm
Sue, I think Heidi was right when she said "he holds it together for work, and by the time he gets home he's so exhausted from holding it together that he just collapses".
 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2008
Mon, 09-29-2008 - 7:06pm

You all made so much sense and I thank you. I till feel like a slouch though. On the other hand the bit that made so MUCH sense was that I spend all day holding it together and being a "normal" person that I really DO collapse at the end of my day... I am so drained that all I want to do is sit!

Love you all

Sue