My news

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
My news
5
Fri, 12-05-2008 - 9:54pm

I did it! I got out of the house and volunteered somewhere today. It was actually fun. I was so anxious about it this past week, but once I was there it went well.


My other news is that the therapist running the Stairways group called to tell me she was cancelling the whole group. We've met 3 times. She called two weeks ago to cancel it for that day as too many people were going to be gone. I was upset then. It wasn't fair to the several of us who had made a commitment to the group and planned to be there then. So she called me this week to say basically "sorry, i'm not making enough money off of the 4 of you who are left in the group so i'm quitting, merry Christmas." I am so angry with her. I talked to my therapist about it as she is trying to make money...does she have the right to just quit? He said absolutely not. She had started this 40-week (20 sessions as it's every-other week) group, she knows going into therapy that some clients you make money on, some you lose, but as long as you come out ahead and can make a living, that's just the way it works. He thinks she absolutely abandoned the 4 of us who were remaining in group and it's awful. I guess I feel better knowing he's on my side in this and I'm not just being silly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
In reply to: babydance98
Sat, 12-06-2008 - 11:21am
Allie, WHOO HOOOO for getting out and voulenteering.
 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
In reply to: babydance98
Thu, 12-11-2008 - 8:03am

Good job with the volunteering, Allie!

Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: babydance98
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 7:38am

I'm sorry, I thought I responded to this post already but I must have closed out before posting. Anyway, HOORAY for Allie!! I'm really happy you got out and did some volunteer work. That's really great and I'm glad you had fun, too. All the better.


As for this Stairways group T, wow, what a b.s. move! I'm serious. She has NO business conducting those sorts of sessions if she doesn't understand attachment and committment issues. Well, those who can't do teach, right? Perhaps she needs more of her own therapy. I'm sorry, I know I'm being harsh but it's just ridiculous when someone puts the dollar ahead of people's desire to work

**gentle hugs**

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
In reply to: babydance98
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 11:18am

(((((Heidi, Brenda, and Gail))))) thank you for your support and responses. The whole thing about the therapist cancelling group has really hurt me and set me back in some ways. It's been very hard. I'm so angry with her. I'm in the process of writing her a letter to let her know how I feel, of asking for my money back from the 3 sessions (as I'd have never wasted my time or money for her to quit after 3 sessions), and in reporting this to the her licensing board. Doing these things makes me feel stronger and less of a victim. I told my therapist I was afraid the group therapist would contact me if I sent her a letter and I absolutely do not want to hear from her ever again or hear her excuses. He suggested I include that in my letter. So I've written the letter, but I'll give it a day or two to mull over and perhaps show it to my therapist before I send it.


I have found another group. I met with a therapist at another agency on Friday for an initial assment appointment. He and two others share running the Stairways group. He told me Friday that they were having group on Monday (yesterday) and I could start then if I wanted. So I showed up yesterday...and I was the only group member there. The therapist I'd met on Friday was the one in charge of it yesterday so he and I sat for two hours and went over what the group had recently been working on. I was glad it was him as since I'd already met him I felt more comfortable. I was very honest with him and told him about my latest struggles. Friday I'd told him that he needed to know about my "good dad" fantasy I tend to have with male therapists. I wanted him to know this upfront so that hopefully it won't become a problem. I told him not to give me any objects, no matter how many time I ask. We agreed that if it gets to that point it would be a good time for him to speak with my therapist. So hopefully I can manage this problem before it begins. I was thankful it was a man as I feel so betrayed by the last group therapist that I don't feel very trusting of women therapists at this point. And the two hours of one-on-one was a good transition into a new group, I think, as I had time to talk with him and let him know where I'm at in everything before I have to start confessing in front of group members. This group is small--it sounds as if there are only about 5 others normally. Some have been sick recently so that's why no one else attended. It turned out to be a very good thing for me and I'm glad I went.


It's going to take me a while to get over the whole abandonment thing with the group therpist. It really shattered my trust and hurt me greatly. I think by jumping into a new group I've started the process of getting back my power and getting through this. It won't be easy, I know, but I've started.


Allie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
In reply to: babydance98
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 5:01pm
Allie, I'm so glad you found a new group so soon.