Pap Test=Hell(long)..poss. trigger
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|Wed, 12-31-2008 - 1:16am|
I'm new here, I stumbled across this board a few days ago, which I am SO glad I found. I've felt pretty alone in this..my family doesn't believe me and the only person who did (my Mom) passed away when I was 13 (I'm now 18). I was raped by my best friend's brother (who was 16..) when I was 6years old. I've only ever been to one therapist because of my experience and that wasn't until last year. I never really managed to tell her the whole story or get all of my feelings out, that's just too hard to do in one hour sessions every two weeks.. I felt like I was telling an acquaintance my most personal secret rather than someone I could trust. I'm sure I'll eventually be comfortable enough with you all on here to tell the rest of the story..theres so much to it :(.
But I really need help at the moment. I've only ever had one pap test before it was both mentally and physically excruciating for me..I was in more physical pain than I can ever remember being in and I ended up having a full blown panic attack in the middle of the procedure..to which the doctor doing it didn't stop (I was begging between sobs) although she did attempt to calm me down verbally apologizing for the pain but nothing else. After it was over I was shaking so bad it took me almost 15minutes to get dressed and I was bleeding pretty heavily (is that normal?) the bleeding continued for almost 3days, like a short period. My family doctor (not the one who did the test, that was at an S/A Clinic, I was sent there by my family doctor though) She is now trying to force me into going for another pap test by withholding my b/c pills until I get another one. Can anyone say blackmail?!..I am beyond mad about that. I haven't had sex in over 2 months, my boyfriend and I agreed to stop because of how much emotional trauma it puts me through (I have flashbacks quite often during sex..). The reason I started on the pill was to regulate my periods and that is again the only reason I want them for. Any help would be greatly appreciated..I don't know what to do! :(