Advice wanted

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2008
Advice wanted
4
Wed, 01-14-2009 - 1:26pm

This post is about DD1 and how she is dealing with DD2's SA. DD1 and her boyfriend knew

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2008
Wed, 01-14-2009 - 5:38pm

What was life like between all of you before this incident?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2006
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 4:37am

Sorry I did not email you.

LUCKY

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2008
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 12:46pm

Thank you Healingjourney and Lucky. We were/are very close. We have always done everything together and told each other just about everything. SOmetimes maybe to close even, if theres such a thing. The DD's and DS

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2004
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 5:47pm

Hi there. I don't think I've replied before, but I've been following what's been going on. (((hugs to u and your family))).


I'm a little older than both of your daughters. I'm a sa and child rape survivor myself. I am also engaged...have been for years now. The economy does not play nice to people trying to get out on their own, let me tell ya.


IMHO, your DD1 is probably very angry at/about DD2. This was supposed to be her special year. She's graduating, and having just graduated 3 yrs ago myself, I still remember how it feels to finally clear that hurdle. And then also getting engaged, this was her time to shine, and she probably feels all of that has gotten lost/ruined, etc. And she's probably also starting to feel anxious about what's going to happen after graduation, especially with the economy being so bad.


I would take a step back and refrain about talking about DD2 for awhile. Focus on her, don't even bring up your other daughter to her. I'm guessing she's fed up w/ all of the attention her sister is getting, and annoyed that her sister had chosen to get into this trouble. As one of the others said, the abuse isn't her fault, but her choices are to a degree. For someone who's "managed to keep it together" its a little annoying at times.


Does your daughters share a dorm room? DD1 might benefit from being away from her sister for awhile if they do. Just some thoughts/suggestions.


Alisa


Alisa