Taking back Control (might trigger)

Community Leader
Registered: 06-02-2008
Taking back Control (might trigger)
5
Sat, 01-17-2009 - 3:18am

I'll get right to the point.


This

Zoe

Community Leader - Sexual Abuse Healing

Boards> Health & Fitness >Crisis Support >Sexual Abuse Healing

http://www.ivillage.com/forums/health-fitness/crisis-support/sexual-abuse-healing

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 5:48pm

Answering your question about getting control back.

I thought I had cracked that one, the last few months have been me delighting in the fact I feel more in control and have my power back.

However, I have come back to earth with a bang and am still having an issue with it. The woman that recently bullied me has left me feeling so sick and anxious, feels like all my control has gone.

I don't know that there is an actual way to take power back, it's more a feeling you get as you get in touch with feelings, mourn stuff and put toxic people at a distance. It's about realising in your heart that you have power, a lot more than you realised and it's about looking at what you do now that is still giving power away.

Sometimes we don't realise we are sabotaging our own happiness by letting others control us. Before I thought I couldn't make decisions for myself, I would make small decisions but always check and double check with others over other big stuff, in my heart I was convinced others knew better.

However, I was so unhappy living by everyone else's rules and ideas. One day it clicked inside that I was believing I had no control due to other feelings of worthlessness, shame like I am bad etc.

If I said to you 'can you ask a bad, worthless, shameful person what I should do with my life or what decisions to make' You would quite rightly say 'no way' you wouldn't trust them to make a good decision.

So if this is how we feel about ourselves (that we are bad etc.), we are hardly going to trust ourselves or our opinions. But this is how we take control back, by feeling good about ourselves, trusting and believing ourselves and that we know what's best for us and while others may mean well, they are not walking in our shoes.


Fluppet
Fluppet x  x
Community Leader
Registered: 06-02-2008
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 4:09pm
Thanks for responding.

Zoe

Community Leader - Sexual Abuse Healing

Boards> Health & Fitness >Crisis Support >Sexual Abuse Healing

http://www.ivillage.com/forums/health-fitness/crisis-support/sexual-abuse-healing

Community Leader
Registered: 06-02-2008
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 4:08pm

Thanks for getting back to me.

Zoe

Community Leader - Sexual Abuse Healing

Boards> Health & Fitness >Crisis Support >Sexual Abuse Healing

http://www.ivillage.com/forums/health-fitness/crisis-support/sexual-abuse-healing

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Sun, 01-18-2009 - 10:00am
((HUGS)) to you Hon. Your past, as we all know, always seems to work its way back into your present life. Emotions are a funny thing at times they bubble up and mess with your life just when you think you have it all figured out. Your dealing with your past and thankfully have a great support now with your husband. Having a wonderful support and knowing your truly loved is a huge step in healing . God bless and Happy Thoughts your way my dear :) - Tressa
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Sat, 01-17-2009 - 2:52pm
First don't worry about how long your posts are you can write as much as you need to.