What a week

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2008
What a week
6
Thu, 01-22-2009 - 9:26am

Hello All,


I've been bombarded with so much this week. My DD2 still has not gone to the clinic on campus to have her meds changed. She knows this one just isn't working for her but still comes up with what seems like excuses as to why she hasn't been over there. She has decided not to return to any of her previous Counc. but she said that one of her bosses (used to be or is...not sure) is a counc. and has chosen to talk to her when she thinks she needs to. My feeling is ...at least shes talking to someone. Is that wrong? I want her to felt comfortable with whomever she chooses to confide in. She has been having alot of good days, or so it seems. I just don't know....I want to believe she is but for instance she'll call me in be extremly happy and then call her brother 20 mins. later and sound like shes down....I don't know if its an act or if her moods are swing that badly. She says that shes hanging out with roomies but DD1 says not so that they are asking and DD2 is turning them down. I just dont know what to believe.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
In reply to: carolina_gurl
Thu, 01-22-2009 - 3:38pm
Hugs to you.
 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2008
In reply to: carolina_gurl
Thu, 01-22-2009 - 8:25pm

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I have done alot of research on SA. Sometimes so much so that it all runs together or I forget what it said. But nothing will compare to walking in those shoes. All the words in the world can't comfort when she knows that I have never felt the way she feels....maybe her "nana" can fill me place when needed.


She called this afternoon and said that she had had a terrible night last night. She told me that yesterday was the 21st and it had happend on the 21st of Oct.. As the time got closer to 1:30am the more agitated she got. (my heart was sinking for her as she was talking but I was good and didn't say a word....she was talking to me!) She went on to say that she gathered all of her sharp objects and took them to one of her roomies room and asked her to keep them for her. It wasn't long till roomies friend left and she and another roomie came and sat with her....and they just talked all night. She said that she dialed the # to the cutters hotline many times but never the send button...she just wanted a friend to talk to. She said she did the same with our # but didn't want to hear I knew you werren't ready to go back.....my heart broke....After she was finnished talking I gently said that is not someething that we DH or myself would do...not intentionly.....when she has a bad day our only thought at that time would be to help her get through this time not I told you so's. I went on to say that we were proud of her for going to a friend and getting through her time with someone. It doesn't have to be mom or dad but that she has shown herslef that she does have friends and can do this.


I know these days and nights are going to be a part of her life I just hope that they get easier and fewer for her. I know that the perp. being gone from school isn't going to "fix" things for her but she isn't afraid to walk to class now...afraid that she may run into him. But those memories are still there. I wanted to climb through the phone to hug her. I didn't cry until after I hung up. I hope that she will know that she can call us when she needs to without fear of us doiing the I told you so thing. But I am grateful that someone was there for her when she reached out.


Anyways, I just needed someone to say these things too. Thanks for being here,


Walking in Faith......

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2006
In reply to: carolina_gurl
Thu, 01-22-2009 - 10:48pm

It sounds to me as though DD2 is doing really well.

LUCKY

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2008
In reply to: carolina_gurl
Thu, 01-22-2009 - 11:27pm

Thank you....for being able to take what has happend in your life ...and use it to help me and my family. Even though these things that have been done to so many have brought such heartache each of you have shown

Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: carolina_gurl
Sat, 01-24-2009 - 3:00pm

Hi,


That's great news about the perp leaving school. I really think your daughter will do well to get some space from him. The only thing is, his absense may be a double-edged sword. On one hand, she can breathe easier. On the other hand, those bigger feelings are likely to come up. Although I'm really happy to hear she's reaching out to people for help. And thank goodness she had the sense to remove the sharp knives away. Wow, is she good!


Right now though, I'm going to share some thoughts that you may not like to hear. I just hope you'll understand that I'm only trying to help you. That's right, I'm trying to help you, not your daughter. First, I need to let you know I'm the mother of three kids, two are in college and one has graduated. So I can completely empathize with your desire to remove your child's pain. Few things in life are worse than witnessing our children's sorrows.


But your quest to be soooo close to your daughters just seems a little over zealous if you don't mind me saying so. I've told you this before, I've become suffocated just reading some of your posts. The thing is, even though you've held the line on not calling your DD2 more than requested, you still seem to be spying on her by checking out her story with your other daughter. And not sharing negative news is only babying her as well. She needs to learn. Lastly, telling anyone what happened to DD2 is truly not your place. As Lucky said, this is HER story to be told on HER terms. Hopefully you lucked into telling someone who might have some compassion for your DD's situation so I pray it will go well if they speak but it wasn't your place to share it. Period.

**gentle hugs**

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2008
In reply to: carolina_gurl
Tue, 01-27-2009 - 11:00am

Hi Gail,