Nervous about Triggers

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Nervous about Triggers
8
Fri, 02-06-2009 - 9:20pm

Okay this is the deal. My daughters school is doing a "Good touch Bad Touch" class next week. I am supposed to go with her. My husband can't because he is working away from home right now. SO I am going. I am nervous that what they talk about might trigger something in me. I don't know. what should I do?? I really want her to go because I want her to understand that there is

Cynthia You are loved, You are Special, You are WORTH IT!
Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sat, 02-07-2009 - 10:59am

I wholeheartedly agree, this topic is so important for children to learn. IMO it beats the tar out of stranger danger. Most sexual abuse seems to be perpetrated by family and friends so children need to know what's appropriate and what isn't.


But it's hard to say how you're going to react to the presentation. I assume you've tried imagining all the different comments and how you'll respond to them. If not, then I would start there if I were in your situation. But I honestly feel you're going to be fine during the presentation. It's amazing how we mothers can put our personal issues to the side when our children are our top priority. The main thing is that she learns this information and you're there to support her. I really think you'll be fine. I don't think you're going to flip out durring the meeting. Just stay focused on how important this is for all the children in the room to learn.


Having said that, if after the presentation you feel those comments affecting you then I would highly encourage you to work through them individually with a therapist who truly knows childhood sexual abuse. I know you're

**gentle hugs**

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2000
Sat, 02-07-2009 - 2:39pm

Don't be afraid. I used to facilitate these classes for kids from kindergarten to high school seniors. They talk to the kids at their level so it may not impact you but will open a door for you to talk to your daughter.

I found that getting involved with the classes was a great way to give back and help other kids. It played a big role in my recovery. the program I was involved with was called CAPP....Child Assault Prevention Program and started with roll playing the bully situation, then went to stranger danger and then sexual assault. We defined the "private parts" as those areas covered by your bathing suit. It shouldn't be graphic or scary, just informative. Most kids don't know that others should not touch them in their bathing suit areas.

So go and listen. Feel sad for yourself that you didn't get these classes and then become an advocate for the classes through your PTA. My kids school system had one principal who tried to stop the classes.....until her hubby, a high school teacher, was arrested for molestation.

Just keep yourself focused on HOW they tell the kids, not what. It's a great way to get closer to your own child when you can share how you wish they'd had this stuff when you were little. You don't have to tell her much but you can give her the idea that you've been through this. I have slowly shared my abuse with my kids starting with these programs. Your child will appreciate knowing her mom knows.....and will protect her, no matter what. I have a grandchild now and I know my granddaughter will always be safe because of what I have shared with my children.

gentle hugs.............JennyB

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-07-2009 - 6:36pm

Yeah what a different world I (we?) grew up in. Definitely nothing that was ever discussed when I was growing up. Nothing like this was.

Good for you for giving back.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Mon, 02-09-2009 - 3:39pm
I agree with the others I think you will be fine.
 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Mon, 02-09-2009 - 9:51pm

Thanks. I feel better about going tomorrow. It is 3 days long (an hour each day) and I talked to her teacher and she told me I didn't have to come. I want to go though and show my daughter that I care about this and I eventually want her to know why I do. I appreciate the thoughts and I think you are right and that I will be fine. Thankyou so much again for the help. This board is great. I am glad it is here.


Cynthia You are loved, You are Special, You are WORTH IT!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Tue, 02-10-2009 - 5:37pm
Just wondering how things went today.
 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Tue, 02-10-2009 - 6:33pm
Thanks Brenda for asking. Turns out that the class doesn't start until tomorrow. I think I will be okay. Interesting experience though to tell you all. A lady who was there to visit the class and observe came in and she was talking to the teacher and asking her if today was a good day to do it and she told her they were having the GOOD TOUCH/BAD TOUCH class today and she responded with "this young?" I immediately said that I thought it was very important to have them learn at this age! It is amazing that people think that 7 is too young to learn this important thing.
Cynthia You are loved, You are Special, You are WORTH IT!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-10-2009 - 7:00pm

Good for you for speaking up!

Why can't people realize YES this does happen.

I had someone (on another non-related board, talking about a Dr. Phil show) say "oh I can't watch that, it's too upsetting." NO CRAP! Try dealing with it. I was having problems watching it but I forced myself to because I needed to see how it played out.

Good luck tomorrow. We'll be with you in spirit. You can do it. Think how proud your daughter will be once she does know, whenever you do share, how you protected her.

Gentle hugs,

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