Comment that isn't sitting well (*T*)
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|Sat, 02-07-2009 - 9:04am|
Hi, I'm Mia -- haven't been here over 2 years even though I think about the board often. I'm sure a lot of folks have come and gone.
Quick background: Victim of incest by "brother" when I was 8, lasted couple years, unofficially handed off to cousin which lasted for several years.
Cut to today -- for the most part the SA issues have been dealt with on the grand scale and tucked away. Feeling the best I have in over 10 yrs, depression lifting, new meds, starting to live life.
Been talking to a guy online (met on a message board, took convo to email) I guess you can say we have cyber sex ... it's more what have you done, what turns you on, etc. All well and good.
Until yesterday's note from him. Based on a conversation on the board a group of us were having he e-mailed me and said oh you used to watch that too (an old show). Well this is what happened for me and proceeded to talk about "playing doctor" with his sister and cousins. Well throw a bucket of ice cold water on me.
I've never had this come up before, ever. Never had anyone admit to it. Of course I realize kids do it, but I guess I sorta assumed it's ok if its between non-family members.
I'm thrown -- and I'm not sure why. I can't decide if I'm upset or not, which may be what is upsetting me. (if that makes any sense).
I've come to accept the fact that specific things done to me as a child are the same things that turn me on as an adult (specific sexual acts, not being victim of incest). That took a little work to get my mind around, but I know that it's two separate things. One was done by a sick predator (or two) the other done by consenting adults in a sexual, loving relationship.
But with this e-mail I find I can't catch my breath and I really don't know what or why or anything.
I even had to dig out this member name, I hadn't used it in a while.
Thanks for reading, sorry for the length.