new can of worms

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
new can of worms
10
Sun, 02-15-2009 - 9:10pm
Tomorrow I resume my counseling from 8 years ago! I am quite nervous about opening this wound up again but I know its something I need to do its a wound that has never healed fully and so I need to move on with it. i just feel like I am ripping off a scab that has started to heal but keeps festering and I wish would just go AWAY!!! Please wish me well and I am sure Ill be back after tomorrows session I go at 2PM.
Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: hrtease2
Mon, 02-16-2009 - 8:21am

Hi Tressa,


Oh wow, this is a big step, but one that's certainly in the right direction as you know. I really honor your courage.

**gentle hugs**

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
In reply to: hrtease2
Mon, 02-16-2009 - 7:30pm

(((((Tressa))))) I hope it went well. You're brave to go back and tackle this. I wish you the best.


Allie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
In reply to: hrtease2
Mon, 02-16-2009 - 8:01pm

Well I had my session today with my Therapist. I was so nervous on the way there knowing what I was about to dredge back up again. It went quite well she helped me to realize what had triggered me wasn't all about my son but the feelings I myself had about my situation. She talked me through and explained how things are different from what he experienced and what i went through. I Just have such a hard time opening up and talking about my past I hate it I wish i could deal and then get on with it. She made me realize it will never "go away" but I will learn to deal with it and when a triggers hits again It will be just a lil bit easier to deal rather then like this time I was like WHAT THE HELL!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
In reply to: hrtease2
Tue, 02-17-2009 - 1:41pm
It sounds like your first session back went pretty well.
 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
In reply to: hrtease2
Tue, 02-17-2009 - 7:50pm
Brenda Thanks for the reply. I will be going back in 2 weeks and then go from there see what happens. I just wish there was a manual so you knew where to go and what to do from here ya know! Thanks for the support :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
In reply to: hrtease2
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 3:33pm
 

 

 

Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: hrtease2
Fri, 02-20-2009 - 8:05am

Hi Tressa,


I'm so glad your session went well the other day. But I have to respectfully disagree with what your T said about it will never go away. While these experiences from our childhood will always be part of our past, the pain they carry don't always have to be with us. I hope your T understands this b/c frankly some Ts don't have enough training to adequately handle our complex issues. We don't have to just learn how to handle our triggers. We can actually live a life that's nearly trigger-free. I know my life has grown this way and I passionately believe it's b/c I've been working with a T who knows what healing from childhood sexual abuse is about.


So, I understand your frustration. Jeeze, I'd be frustrated too if I thought my life was going to continue that way forever. The effort to manage through a life like that would absolutely

**gentle hugs**

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2006
In reply to: hrtease2
Fri, 02-20-2009 - 10:24am

Gail,


I hope you don't mind if I add my two cents.

LUCKY

Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: hrtease2
Fri, 02-20-2009 - 12:22pm

So true, there are certainly no right answers. And you're also right, my situation wher both of my abusers are dead is far different than perhaps someone whose abuser(s) are still alive and each person has their own unique circumstances. No doubt about it. Healing is tremendously personal. However, I tried to hedge a little by saying "NEAR trigger-free". I understand we'll probably have pockets of unhealed wounds that hang on no matter how much we address in therapy. But we both agree, we can heal a great many wounds so our lives aren't ruled by trigger management.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. The distinction is very important.

**gentle hugs**

Gail
**gentle hugs**

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
In reply to: hrtease2
Fri, 02-20-2009 - 8:44pm
I also agree with you both. My biological father was my abuser. I faced him in a counseling session and finally started to deal with the issue 8 years ago after my sons birth. I don't know how to explain the fact that his simple "I'm sorry" and him showing remorse for the abuse helped but just that he admitted and was sorry was a major break through for me. It was like in the past he had lived a trouble free life and not suffered any of the consequences and pain i was feeling and I hated him so much. I started to forgive him ( never forget mind you , but forgive) and I was amazed at the relief i felt it took so much less energy to forgive then it did to hate him all those years. I will never let my guard down, I don't believe. The sexual