More upset, more decisions
||Tue, 02-24-2009 - 10:29am
My family really needs prayers. I also need discernment on how to proceed. My idiot brother molested me in 87/88, raped me in 90, and continued to pursue me until about 5 yrs ago. I forgave him. I forgave my folks for keeping a blind eye to the situation and not believing me. I am being honest about that too. Here is the problem. This same stepbrother has been accused of molesting his 12 yr old and possibly his 14 yr old. The stepmother called the cops and the idiot was removed from the home. That was 6 weeks ago. Nothing is happening. We are in a holding pattern. The idiot is staying with my folks which is no good. Now my mother tells me that her and my dad are going to get the girls from their stepmother and that the idiot has agreed to sign over joint custody, meaning my folks will have an equal say with my brother regarding the girls. Ok so far. Here is the tricky part. They are NOT going to make my brother move out! They are going to allow the idiot to live under the same roof as the girls he has molested. They claim that a former social worker has told them that as long as they aren't left alone together it "should" be OK. My mom called the PD where the report was filed and the TRO only states that my brother has to stay away from his residence, not the girls specifically so that won't get in the way. This is insane. My folks CAN'T protect the girls with him in the house. They couldn't protect me. I was molested while they were home! People do sleep you know. The only story my folks have heard is my brothers. They have refused to talk to the girls about this or their stepmother. I have. I have not spoken to my brother. I don't need to. I used to have a really close relationship with my folks, until this. I am going to have to draw a line in the sand. I will not allow my children to be in my brothers presence. The bond between me and my folks is breaking. My childrens relationship with their grandparents is suffering. I feel like I need to let my father know (he is my bio dad whereas my mom is my stepmom) where I stand and where my families boundaries are. They are welcome to come see my children whenever they like but my children will not be in their home as long as this child molester is there. This is going to cause major problems. I need to continue to pray about how to proceed down this road, though my mind is clear about where my boundaries are.
I don't know if what I feel is right or wrong, but they are my feelings just the same. I feel that if my father goes down this road, allowing the idiot to live under the same roof as the girls, that he is once again choosing Mike over me. I accepted what happened and how it was handled long ago. But now should we not all be wiser now? How can my father let this happen again after knowing the past? It feels like he doesn't believe me even now. It feels like a slap in the face. I don't know if I will ever be able to get past this. How can I ever trust them again? This is insane.