raetonycass how r you doing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
raetonycass how r you doing?
16
Fri, 02-27-2009 - 2:03pm
Just wondered how you were doing? Your situation has been on my mind. Hoping your doing ok

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Sat, 02-28-2009 - 1:17pm

Thanks for your concern. Things are changing and moving forward. I sent my dad an email after our last phone conversation. He couldn't not hear me out then. And he DID hear me. I think that the truth is that he is moving out of the land of denial. He contacted me and we talked on a much more supportive note. My family went over there for dinner Thurs night. (MIke was at work) Part of the reason is that I asked for some financial help for MIkes oldest dd (whom he hasn't seen in more than 6 years). My dad helped me help her. Anyway, the dinner went very very well. My dad has called me daily just to say he loves me. A big improvement.


Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sat, 02-28-2009 - 1:43pm
Wow, what an improvement! I'm so happy to hear things are moving in the right direction. Those girls are so lucky to have a family who truly wants to protect them. Bless all of you!
**gentle hugs**

Gail
**gentle hugs**

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Sat, 02-28-2009 - 7:19pm
Wow what a change! that great news It sounds like your on your way to a much better tomorrow. i am very happy things are turning around for you :) keep us posted and if you need to vent please know we R all here for that too! Thanks for responding and the update, -Tressa
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2004
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 1:03am

That is good to hear! I'm glad to hear your folks are getting outta that shellshocked/denial mode. I hope they'll realize that's the best thing they can ever do for these girls.


Did the lawyer say anything about a trusted family member being able to stay w/ them during the exam? I can't remember how old you said they are, but I know that going through any exam of that kind of area when younger (even if not internal) is a pretty scary and traumatic all in its own right. :(.


Keep us all updated.


Alisa


Alisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 9:43pm
Wow sounds like your dad is really coming around.
 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 11:29am
My dad didn't say anything about a gyn exam except that they are going to have one. They still have not gone and gotten the girls. My dad wants it done now but my mom is dragging her feet. She just can't get herself to kick him out without a place to go and he isn't helping to find something himself. I even pitched in with a few numbers for really low rentals. He won't even check them out. Of course not, staying wiht mom and dad he is warm and fed. What a jerk.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 11:41am

Actually, the 14 yr old is NOT happy. She wants her whole family together. I kinda don't blame her. Here is a quick rundown of their lives


together as a fam (mom, dad, older half sibs, younger sib)


Older half sibs taken away by maternal gma and biodad.


Moved in with paternal gparents


Moved out into a trailer


Trailer burned down, moved in with Paternal gparents


mom and dad split, mom took girls and disappeared for 9 months. Girls were 4 and 5


Mom moved 3 times, causing older one to switch kindergartens 3 times.


Moms new fil molests both girls


mom drops girls off for a 3 day visit in Jan (girls were 5 and 6) and doesn't come back or call for 3 Months!


Paternal gparents get emergency custody and get older one in school, younger one in preschool.


2 years later custody is voluntarily given back to dad and they move in with him and stepmom and sibs


New older halfsib enters the pic (dads second of 5 biokids)


They all move 3 times, switching schools each time


Stepmom kicks dad out, who nearly ODS on otcs and whiskey. While dad is in hospital, gma has a stroke and stepmom kicks girls out too.


Girls and dad move back in with paternal gparents--again and switch schools---again


year later stepmom and dad make up and they move--again


Biomom shows up and takes them to court for visitation. Denied.


Now dad has molested them and we are current.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 12:18pm
My gosh those poor girls that is a lot for them to have gone through.
 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2004
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 12:59am
OKay. It's sad your mom keeps dragging her feet on this. Those kids should have a safe place to be.

Alisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 03-05-2009 - 9:44am

Well, I made some progress with my mom yesterday. I was having a really really bad pregnancy day. I simply couldn't care for my 1 yr old it was so bad. I called my mom at work and asked her to come over after work until bedtime. Surprisingly she came. She kept asking me if I have spoken to the girls stepmother. Nope, she won't return my calls or emails or apparently anyone elses. This is making my mom very nervous. We figure she is cutting the girls off from their entire biofamily at the advice of a stupid detective. I get that this man wants to put the squeeze on Mike but I disagree with this method. My mom is worried. I pointed out that the longer it takes to get Mike out the worse it is going to be for the girls. How they must feel right now. She asked me for some help finding housing. Personally, I think Mike should just do it on his own, nobody should help him. BUT I said I would look. Only because it would be for the greater good of many other people. She admitted that she just doesn't know what to do or how to do it. I kept reiterating how not good it is that my SIL is cutting us all off from the girls. Maybe fear and worry can be a good motivator for mom.


On another plus side, she was really amazed at my kids. She hasn't spent much time with htem in the last months. She couldn't believe how much the baby has changed. I could see that visibly shaking her. She needed to see "normal" life and see what she is missing.

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