raetonycass how r you doing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
raetonycass how r you doing?
16
Fri, 02-27-2009 - 2:03pm
Just wondered how you were doing? Your situation has been on my mind. Hoping your doing ok

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 03-12-2009 - 9:50am
Thanks for the link. I will check it out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2004
Mon, 03-09-2009 - 11:26am

Custody battles are so ugly. I hope your parents find out where the girls are. I'm so glad your dad has come around so well. I'm glad that's happened. :)


Take care on bedrest. It's best to leave it to your dad so you can focus on yourself and your baby. Cutting out the stress can only help things.


Alisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2007
Sun, 03-08-2009 - 9:09pm

Just thought I'd let you know about an online support organization for moms on bedrest. www.sidelines.org.

~HMB

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Sat, 03-07-2009 - 2:31pm
It sounds like your dad has really come around and is being supportive of you.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Sat, 03-07-2009 - 2:10pm
It is crazy. My sil knows where I stand. Mike found housing for Monday. My folks went to get the girls last night, they were going to bring them to my house for the weekend. They went armed iwth a notorized power of attorney to get the girls. The girls were not there. SIL said they are no longer staying with her. Wouldn't say where. Apparently she got hysterical adn my folks wouldn't leave without answers. Cops were called. They confirmed the girls were not there and said they would not be able to enforce the POA. SIL mentioned that she knew Mike raped me and that it caused me not to be able to have kids without surgery. (first part true, second not btw). My mom denied that. When they left my dad told her it WAS true. She said she didnt' want to hear it. My dad said no, she was going to hear it. Gave her some details of exactly what MIke did to me. Pointed out some of the things from back then that supported my story that they overlooked or blew off. Told mom he believes wholeheartedly that Mike not only raped me but also his dd's. Mom told him to shut up and then she shut down. Dad told her she needs counseling, possibly some inpatient counselign because she is not facing reality and not dealign with this at all. She went to bed when they got home and she is still there at 1pm today. My dad called my good brother and told him how bad it is. My dad believes my mom is starting to doubt MIkes innocence. Funny though, I feel ok. I don't feel like I have to do anything right now. I feel like God and my dad are getting this under control. I felt I had to do something before. Nobody was dealing well then. Now some eyes have been opened. My dad is getting the picture. My mom is having this in her face. I feel like I did my part, now it is somebody elses turn. Which is good because I am on bedrest with preeclampsia now. I am only 20 weeks pg and delivering a baby now would not be good. My condition is serious. I need to focus on my baby for now an d let someone else fight for the girls. I will continue to fight on my knees and offer support to my folks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2004
Fri, 03-06-2009 - 12:48am

Hi again Rae,


I'm glad your mom came over to help you. Little ones can be so overwelming sometimes. (2 little neices here). I'm sure that gave you some much needed rest, and maybe an eye opener to a good family life.


Please don't take this the wrong way, but IMHO, I can't blame your SIL for cutting the girls off from the biofamily. I'm assuming she cares for these girls. And you must see it from her eyes as well...it was their biodad that hurt them...at least some of biofamily is threatening to take the girls while the person who hurt them is living with said biofamily members. IF it was my neice(s) in that position, I wouldn't want any communication either when it seems the abuser is being believed/harbored.


Have you tried to explain to your sil in email/phone message that you don't want them to live with their abuser? she might be more willing to communicate if she knows.


I wish you and your family the best of luck,


Alisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 03-05-2009 - 9:44am

Well, I made some progress with my mom yesterday. I was having a really really bad pregnancy day. I simply couldn't care for my 1 yr old it was so bad. I called my mom at work and asked her to come over after work until bedtime. Surprisingly she came. She kept asking me if I have spoken to the girls stepmother. Nope, she won't return my calls or emails or apparently anyone elses. This is making my mom very nervous. We figure she is cutting the girls off from their entire biofamily at the advice of a stupid detective. I get that this man wants to put the squeeze on Mike but I disagree with this method. My mom is worried. I pointed out that the longer it takes to get Mike out the worse it is going to be for the girls. How they must feel right now. She asked me for some help finding housing. Personally, I think Mike should just do it on his own, nobody should help him. BUT I said I would look. Only because it would be for the greater good of many other people. She admitted that she just doesn't know what to do or how to do it. I kept reiterating how not good it is that my SIL is cutting us all off from the girls. Maybe fear and worry can be a good motivator for mom.


On another plus side, she was really amazed at my kids. She hasn't spent much time with htem in the last months. She couldn't believe how much the baby has changed. I could see that visibly shaking her. She needed to see "normal" life and see what she is missing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2004
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 12:59am
OKay. It's sad your mom keeps dragging her feet on this. Those kids should have a safe place to be.

Alisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 12:18pm
My gosh those poor girls that is a lot for them to have gone through.
 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 11:41am

Actually, the 14 yr old is NOT happy. She wants her whole family together. I kinda don't blame her. Here is a quick rundown of their lives


together as a fam (mom, dad, older half sibs, younger sib)


Older half sibs taken away by maternal gma and biodad.


Moved in with paternal gparents


Moved out into a trailer


Trailer burned down, moved in with Paternal gparents


mom and dad split, mom took girls and disappeared for 9 months. Girls were 4 and 5


Mom moved 3 times, causing older one to switch kindergartens 3 times.


Moms new fil molests both girls


mom drops girls off for a 3 day visit in Jan (girls were 5 and 6) and doesn't come back or call for 3 Months!


Paternal gparents get emergency custody and get older one in school, younger one in preschool.


2 years later custody is voluntarily given back to dad and they move in with him and stepmom and sibs


New older halfsib enters the pic (dads second of 5 biokids)


They all move 3 times, switching schools each time


Stepmom kicks dad out, who nearly ODS on otcs and whiskey. While dad is in hospital, gma has a stroke and stepmom kicks girls out too.


Girls and dad move back in with paternal gparents--again and switch schools---again


year later stepmom and dad make up and they move--again


Biomom shows up and takes them to court for visitation. Denied.


Now dad has molested them and we are current.


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