Possible Breakthrough

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Possible Breakthrough
Thu, 03-12-2009 - 8:24pm

So you know how I have been struggling big time over the last few months.

I went to see my T last week, I felt like the therapy wasn't working that maybe we were a bad fit now and she didn't understand.

We talked and I told her about the desperate moments (not about anything else) and how I had no coping strategies etc.

I said I feel like I am in a big black hole in those times, like I am walking through mud and I am completely alone and that feeling was like an emptiness, an imbalance in my soul, she then put her hand out to me and said she would help pull me out of the mud.

That's when I stood up and asked her to hug me and wow did I bawl, I cried and cried like a child.

It was the closest I have ever been to anyone emotionally, I was totally vulnerable and I was depending on her to hold me up and be there for me.

Afterwards I felt awkward and uncomfortable but that because not used to it, I have hugged people before but almost like there was always an invisible barrier there.

It has pushed me forward somewhat, the painful fear and anxiety is not as bad as it was, it feels like a bit of sunshine has come into my heart.

Fluppet x
Fluppet x  x
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Fri, 03-13-2009 - 9:51am
That's good news.



iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Fri, 03-13-2009 - 9:05am
Feelings are such an odd thing aren't they? Its like you feel like your accomplishing anything and you feel like it will be that way forever then you hit a snag that feels like a huge rip and afterwards you realize it was part of your healing. ((hugs)) to you on your journey Hon.. I totally understand where your coming from!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Fri, 03-13-2009 - 7:54am

Hi Flup {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I am SO GLAD to have read your post. I always say you HAVE to talk and talk and talk; or cry and cry. Something has to move forward. For some people it is SO difficult to allow oneself to feel the pain, and loneliness. But when you finally DO, the pain changes into something else. The feeling of having the GIANT empty hole inside fill up again.

Great news to hear on this Fri the 13th. Try to keep open the communication. Hugs do help, sometime :o).

Best wishes,

Mady Bead Good

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