New here trying to deal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2009
New here trying to deal.
20
Sat, 03-14-2009 - 10:54pm

Hi I think I posted on this board or one similar to it about 5yrs. ago. long time ago. Unfortunately I am still where I was then.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2009
Sun, 03-29-2009 - 1:07pm

Thank you for sharing. I am very happy that things are working out with your dh. My dh and I are not getting back together. He is starting to get resentful and mean. He transfered his paycheck and our savings account into a

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2009
Sun, 03-29-2009 - 12:45pm
Thank you. I am trying to stay poitive and not blame myself. My DH and I are for sure not getting back together. Which I am way oaky with but dealing with his attitude is getting increasingly hard. Thank goodness for counseling. I'm trying to stay strong.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2009
Sun, 03-29-2009 - 12:43pm
Thank you for the encouragement. I am gonna try really hard to be free from the affects of SA.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2009
Sun, 03-29-2009 - 12:41pm
Thank you for sharing. I hope to one day to get over the insecurities I have with sex. My husband and I are seperated and are not getting back together so sex is not something I will be having anytime soon.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
Thu, 03-26-2009 - 7:29pm

I have had a lot of fear surrounding the issue of sex, too. I think that's pretty common for CSA survivors, really. My husband does something that really helps me. For one, he's really patient and understands that it takes some time for me to "warm up." When I'm having a really hard time warming up, he says reassuring things to me such as, "You're safe. I would never do anything to hurt you." For me, those words are like magic keys that unlock me and release me from my fears. I especially appreciate that he says them without being asked. When I'm in that fearful frame of mind, I don't even think of asking, usually. It's taken us many years to get to this point; we didn't start out this way!


There are books out there that are just for sexual healing, but for me, my husband's help has been much more useful. I am glad that he can help me claim that part of my life. I don't want to say no because I am afraid. I'd much rather get past the fear and live my life the way

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Wed, 03-25-2009 - 1:03am
Yes my therapist recommended the group to me and I did NOT think that I needed to go because I thought I was doing really well. I wasn't. I am glad she encouraged me to go. I am glad you have someone to talk to. I hope that you are able to do what you have to do to heal. Good luck! You can do it...YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!
Cynthia
You are loved, You are Special, You are WORTH IT!
Cynthia You are loved, You are Special, You are WORTH IT!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Mon, 03-23-2009 - 8:43pm

Hi

I just wanted to assure you that you can get to a place where your heart aswell as your head finally understands it's not your fault and you are not bad or guilty as I am living proof.

It's taken a while and it's been a very hard road, but my feelings finally caught up with me last week.

Now the only problem, is once you stop blaming yourself, you then get the full fury of other people and how they have wronged you, that is hard but at least its not blaming you.

You can do, keep with it

Fluppet x
Fluppet x  x
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Mon, 03-23-2009 - 5:01pm
Hey, your post is nothing compared to some that I have written so no problem.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2009
Sun, 03-22-2009 - 6:45pm

Thank you for recommending the book. I have not purchased it yet but I will.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2009
Sun, 03-22-2009 - 6:23pm

I have never thought of the way I cope in that perspective. On the positive side, I didn't end up on drugs, in a gang, or something worse. The way I grew up I really could have ended up that way.


On the flip side though. Could I not have prevented a

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