Taking A Break

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Taking A Break
5
Sun, 03-22-2009 - 7:46am

Possible TTT

I really think I am going to take a break from counselling for a while and try to get on with my life and live a bit.

I was in group therapy for a year and have been one to one for a year, I am confused still and don't feel I am getting anywhere.

It's good weather here amd I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!!!!!!!!

I am not saying I don't need more healing but I just want to take time out to process things and not have to cry every week.

A couple of weeks ago my heart finally caught up with my head (my feelings matched my rational, logical side) and I really really understood that this wasn't my fault and I am not guilty at all or bad etc...

Now that revelation has come I want time out.

I just want to foocus on the good stuff in my life, I realised I have been so wrapped up in trying to fix problem after problem, I have not had a chance to just simply enjoy life and I feel I am missing out on life.

I could be in therapy another 10 years and that will be all my 30's gone, my 20's have been taken up with trauma, my childhood stolen, now I want to take back what is mine and choose to live how I want to.

I know I am still vulnerable but I think I'll be ok, I have a house move coming up and I can't deal with all this stuff in one go.

Has anyone here done that, how was it?

By the way how do I change my font style and colour so it's permantly one way

Fluppet x
Fluppet x  x
Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: fluppet
Sun, 03-22-2009 - 9:12am

I wish you all the best!! I completely respect your desire to put things aside for a while.


You wouldn't know it by seeing me on this board all the time but I did this, too. I was in and out of therapy many times b/c of my past

**gentle hugs**

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
In reply to: fluppet
Sun, 03-22-2009 - 4:51pm
Fluppet, although I never quit therepy there was a time that I did need to take a break from working on the past problems in my life.
 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
In reply to: fluppet
Sun, 03-22-2009 - 5:43pm

Fluppet,


My wonderful therapist of many years died suddenly in Nov.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
In reply to: fluppet
Sun, 03-22-2009 - 7:29pm

Good for you Fluppet! :-)


At one point I felt I had finished and didn't need any more therapy. I stopped for several years, then had more things to deal with later (not that I'm suggesting that will happen for you, just telling my story).

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
In reply to: fluppet
Sun, 03-22-2009 - 9:19pm

thanks for the support.

Oh my God, I am in the most unbelievable excrutiating emotional pain I can't sleep.

Mother's day, was dreading that anyway, all I got from mother was criticisms over my plans to move and listening to her being all loving, caring and supporive to my brother and his family, while I dont' get a look in.

This world is truly a messed up place, I am going to expolde at my mother tomorrow, I am going to go to see her after workso my control freak step father can't interfere and manipulate her and I am going to yell her exactly how her behaviour is affecting me and how I simply can't bear what is going on, if things do not improve and continues to be ruled and put my stepfather over me every time and give support to others and not me I am going to go out of her life.

Her actions completely contradict all the healing work I am doing as they bring me right back down again and make me feel I am unloved.

This is really really destroying me and I really have to make a decision even though it's not easy I have tried distancing myself etc but nothing makes me feel better.

I can't go through feeling like I do today agin, after christmas I came home in floods of tears and so too tonight, I have had enough of things all being her way, either she compromises and sorts her behaviour out or I am gone for good, I am cutting all ties, I may feel guilty and sad but it will be better than how I feel right now.

I am sure my brother abused me too and in his card to my mom he wrote 'thanks for being there for us' (his family)

HAS SHE BEEN THERE FOR ME, TAKE A GUESS, NO!!!!!!!!! The world is totally messed up place and totally unfair, I am in pieces, I am so enraged I can't sleep, I am so out of balance, I have tried praying but I really am beside myself, this is a life sentence, why is life so cruel and unfair??????

Fluppet x
Fluppet x  x