Nightmares *possible Trigger*
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|Mon, 03-30-2009 - 2:31pm|
This last week I had a Nightmare that was really scary.
I went on a trip with some friends. I don't know if I was single or married or what...I am not sure but I think I was single in my dream. Which right there I was pretty sure it was a dream however it was so real that it is still really bothering me.
Anyway I went on this road trip with some friends. We stopped at several places, one place we stopped looked like the Driveway of my Aunts house. We actually entered into my aunts house but it wasn't her house inside. There was a Huge room downstairs that had several other rooms in it. One room I think was the bathroom and it had this really vibrant pink and orange shower curtains in it. THen there was one other room that had crepe paper and balloons hanging from it like there was some party of sorts happening. I asked whoever lived there when they redecorated their house. I don't know who I asked. My cousins were there and several other people. They were playing a game. It was a really STUPID game that no one would ever really think of in real life. The guys were covering themselves with Dish soap and trying to get the girls all slimy with it. I thought they were being dumb. Then one of the guys (not sure who) caught me and tackled me and then started to kiss my neck and wouldn't let me go. I was so scared and I didn't like it. I wanted him to leave me alone. Eventually I got away from him and I left. I started walking down the street when my cousin came to bring me back to the party. I told her I didn't want to go back and that I would find a way back home. I told her that this wasn't the first time this had happened to me and that just a week before it happened with a different guy! She convinced me to come back and that this guy wasn't going to come with us on the rest of the trip. I agreed to go back. I got into the vehicle that we were driving and he came out and had decided to come with us anyway. I got out of the vehicle. I left.
The dream changed here. I was no longer on this trip. It seemed like it was a couple of years later. I was at a hotel meeting my cousin for something, I don't remember what. I went to her room and this guy answered the door. I looked at him and it was the same guy who had attacked me in the first part of the dream! I took off running and he followed. He kept following me. I thought I had finally gotten away when my cousin spotted me and asked me what I was doing. He caught me and forced me to stay with him. He Sexually abused me over and over. He would not let me have any freedom. I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone but him. I wasn't allowed to wear clothes either. It happened for years in my dreams. It was horrifying. Then one day someone who was living with this guy told him to find a younger person. It was almost like he was being ordered to abuse me! I was glad she was telling him to let me go but he wouldn't listen. Thats when I woke up.
It has terrified me all week! I don't know how to process it. It was so real that I feel so violated! I have a hard time falling asleep because I am afraid to dream it again. I am overly paranoid about my doors being locked too. I am seriously freaked out!
Sorry I had to just get this out somewhere. I haven't been able to share this with anyone and I don't see my counselor until Wednesday.
Thanks for reading I tried not to share too many details as they are pretty graphic dreams....This seriously was Scary!!!
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