New to the group .. HELP!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2009
New to the group .. HELP!!
7
Wed, 04-01-2009 - 4:50pm

Hi, my name is suzi and i just wanted to say a quick hello to everyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Sun, 04-12-2009 - 5:37pm
I feel your hurt when you say your mom doesn't care.
 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2009
Sun, 04-12-2009 - 3:20pm
Thanks so much, Brenda. I read the post from the mom of two teenagers and my heart broke for her (I can't remember who it was) and I thought that maybe if I shared what was going on in my mind, it might help. That post inspired to confide in my own mother. I was worried she would get upset and blame herself but she had an odd reaction. First, she acted like it didn't matter and second she said she refuses to blame herself for someone else's actions. I didn't want her to be heartbroken but I at least hoped to feel some support from her. To be honest, and maybe I'm a bad person for thinking so, but I am kind of upset that she had no reaction whatsoever. How is that possible? I would be devastated if my daughter came to me with that news. Here's the other weird thing. My T is convinced I was sa at about 3 yrs old. Both of us feel that it was this man, Carl who raped his daughter fir eight yrs starting when she was 2. My mother says I was 7 when I started going to their house. So, its not possible for him to have abused me at age 3. Now, I know my uncle abused my cousin, but I don't know if I had met him at age 3 either. Is it possible for the therapist to be that off? If he's wrong about that how can I trust him to get enough information to help me? Should I let him hyptonize me? I'm scared to death of it. I still cannot believe my mom is ok with this. Before I got sick I had gotten 3 college degrees in 3 yrs, I was 2 classes from an MBA, I was a Certified Government Finance Officer and I was tagged as the next Finance Director at a company where I had only worked for 18 months and they were gonna skip over employees with 10-20 yrs of service to promote me. How can she not at least be upset that the life I was destined to have is never going to happen? I certainly mourn that life. At the time I had just gotten to second degree black belt and had a business partner that I was running a karate school with. On top of that, I was literally super mom. I was the golden girl with a fantasy life who had it all. I worked hard and loved harder. This was only 3 yrs ago. Now I am on disability, I can barely get out of bed most days, my major accomplishment now is reading, and on top of that I have been using precription meds for pain to self-medicate. In fact, for two days after I saw my T I was taking way more percocet than I needed. Thank God I realized what I was doing and stopped. I don't want to become a substance abuser too, and right now I would say I'm dangerously close. Sorry to ramble. I JUST talked to mom and that upset me and my best friend (business partner who I consider a sister) confided to me that she thinks she was sa. Now I am worried it will hit her like a tsunami and ruin her life like it did mine. Thanks all for listening.
Mooniemoon
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Sun, 04-12-2009 - 1:02pm
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Hey moon welcome to our board I'm glad you found us.

My name is Brenda and I am the cl here.

I truly wish there were no need for a board like this.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2009
Sat, 04-11-2009 - 2:28pm
I hope you can find the healing that is so necessary. I am new, too. I am 35 yrs old and learned just a few days ago that I have ptsd fromsa that occurred when I was 3 yrs old. I have no memory of about eighty percent of my life. The whole thing fills me with rage sadness and terror. I am hoping to heal myself. This man robbed me of my whole life and now my kids are paying the price because I feel emotionally disconnected from everyone and I get full of rage when anyone touches me. I wish you the best of luck. Its such a long road. I think when you've carried the burden for such a long time like we have its worse. I don't know about you but I don't even know what is me and what is the product of what happened to me. (((Hugs))) to you. We can get through this its just gonna be a long hard road and we need a lot of support.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
Fri, 04-03-2009 - 10:01pm

Welcome ((((((((((((((Suzi)))))))))))))))) and hugs........... sorry you have

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Thu, 04-02-2009 - 5:00pm
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Hi Suzi welcome to the board.
 

 

 

Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 04-02-2009 - 8:59am

Hi (((Suzi))),


It's so nice to have you join us. Although, of course, I don't wish your experience on anyone. But this is a wonderful place to come. The members are so compassionate and wise. It's always been great to be able to talk to people who know what no one else seems to be able to understand.


Welcome and I'm looking forward to getting to know you.

**gentle hugs**

Gail
**gentle hugs**