The Land Of No Hope :(((((((((

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
The Land Of No Hope :(((((((((
3
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 2:32pm

Anyone know how it feels to be in a mood where nothing and no-one can make you feel better.

Yesterday was hard for me and I just had this lingering feeling of sadness, it was particularly horrible because I felt like nothing or no-one could change how i felt, even if someone said I had won the lottery, I wouldn't have cared.

The holidays are so hard since I disclosed the abuse, it feels like 'family' time and I still feel so betrayed and let down by my so called 'family'

I just feel plain hatred right now and earlier today was just wanting some revenge.

My 'T' seems to give me the idea that I should still continue to keep contact with family and to get to a place where I can 'deal' with them because maybe she hears from me that I still want a family and that walking away is just not dealing with it but that ok for her to say, I know she never been through this herself.

It's just that feeling of hopeless, sadness, thinking that things will never ever get any better and never change.

It hurts so bad, the hurt feels so overwhelming and I just wonder if it is possible to get over.

I feel hatred and bitterness right now and know that isn't a good place to be, maybe it's a stage, I hope so, I don't want to give them the power to ruin anymore of my life.

Not sure if I mentioned but my recent 30th birthday my mother did nothing to help and for my brother she got all expensive food and did a buffet, I am feeling like just another stab in the back.

I feel so sad and hopeless even though really good things are happening in my life and I have met a great guy :(((((((((

Fluppet x
Fluppet x  x
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 3:49pm
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Fluppet you may not see it but there is always hope.
 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Wed, 04-15-2009 - 6:18am

(((((((((((((Brenda))))))))))))))))))

Thanks for your constant support. Yes I am starting to wonder if me and my T have come to the end of our time together, I feel she really does not understand me and when I said this to her she said 'how can I understand you when you don't understand yourself' which is not helpful.

I am feeling better now, think the holidays are really hard though, hope you are well and keeping safe.

Fluppet x
Fluppet x  x
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Wed, 04-15-2009 - 12:55pm

Dear Fluppet {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Of COURSE we all know these feelings. Please read what I wrote to Violet. I will just repeat that SOMETIMES, not ALWAYS, but SOMETIMES, you HAVE to let toxic people out of your lives. THEY are NOT going to change, no matter what. Only we have the ability of balancing and deciding what or who is worth being involved with.

I don't think the "Horrordays" are happy for any of us. How can they be when the people (family) who was supposed to love and protect us...well you know the rest.

I think the more you talk with your tdoc you will gain the ability to make more informed decisions. REMEMBER this is NOT a speed race. Take your time in your decisions and keep this in mind. Those "family" members DO NOT deserve to have YOU in THEIR lives, IMHO.

Fluppet, you hang in and stay strong!

With best wishes,

Mady Bead Good
www.mwrg7.com

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