Keep going or take a break?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Keep going or take a break?
10
Thu, 04-16-2009 - 8:28pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 3:44pm

Allie,
I can tell you are in a spot right now that I was a while ago. When I was having such a hard time and I was WANTING to be further ahead in the healing process and I wasn't a very wise person convinced me to ALLOW myself to be where I am. It is still okay to work on it but don't convince yourself that you have to be further ahead in the healing process than you are. It is okay to be where you are. I imagine you are further ahead than you were when you started. It is like taking baby steps. It is so hard to progress slowly. Just like when you want to lose weight. You think MAN if I just exercise EVERY day I should lose weight fast! Yeah it doesn't happen that way. (I wish it did) Anyway my point is just Allow yourself to be where you are. Take baby steps and don't rush the healing process. If you rush it you may back track and get further behind than you really are.

Good luck!

Cynthia
You are loved, You are Special, You are WORTH IT!
Cynthia You are loved, You are Special, You are WORTH IT!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2009
Mon, 04-20-2009 - 5:41pm

hi allie ,


I just wanted to say i am so glad to have found you and everyone i just started T

Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Mon, 04-20-2009 - 12:36pm

I wholeheartedly agree with you, Allie. Merely rehashing our SA can be extremely counter-productive. Healing from abuse goes far beyond exhaustive talking.


Good luck with your plan.

**gentle hugs**

Gail
**gentle hugs**

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sun, 04-19-2009 - 8:54pm

Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Fri, 04-17-2009 - 2:55pm

Gee, I must be the only person who feels it's important to go back through the old stuff.


My issues were so core to my being as well. I spent years trying to understand how my issues were affecting my life and how I could change my current behavior. But I never had any luck in "learning" my way to health. It wasn't until I started working with my current T and going back through all the horrible SA that I've found any true release from my inner pain

**gentle hugs**

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Fri, 04-17-2009 - 12:52pm
{{{{{{{Allie}}}}}}
 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2006
Fri, 04-17-2009 - 11:09am

I don't need to talk about the SA itself, it's just the way I turned out because of the SA that is my problems--all the ways I learned to cope as a child that I don't need anymore are hard to change.

LUCKY

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Fri, 04-17-2009 - 9:56am

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Fri, 04-17-2009 - 8:15am

I completely understand what you mean, I am in the same position, like you I am tired of raking over old stuff, I sometimes question if my T is right for me too.

I did group therapy for a year and one to one for past 15 mths, it's so draining and it really affects day to day life and my relationships, sometimes I can't tell if the stuff I feel is from present or past.

Maybe take a few weeks off and see how you feel. My T has been away this week so it has given me a bit of a break.

Only you know yourself but if your feeling you need some time out I don't think there is anything wrong with that, we need time to digest what we have learned, and be in the 'real' world a bit.

Hope you find the right decision for you.

Fluppet x
Fluppet x  x
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2009
Fri, 04-17-2009 - 1:13am
Oh, Allie! I so understand where u r coming from. My last intense session about sa had me sleeping for about two days. I too am struggling with the same thing. Today, I purposely avoided the sa and he didn't call me out on it. I was thinking of going twice a wk. One day to deal with sa and one day to deal with life. Like u, I have so very many behaviors I need to change and now I am always questioning whether I'm doing something for the right reason or bcause of what happened to me is putting a skew to things. It is so very difficult. I have to relearn disciplining my kids, how I think, how to not be overprotective and paranoid how to live in the present and how to value myself. I am a giver upper and sometimes that's what I wanna do. Sleep for 2 yrs and wen I wake up its over. You can do this, sweetie but do it at a comfortable pace so u do it right. It seems like trying to rush u will backfire. I wish u the best and we r here for u. (Hugs)
Moonie