Knotts In My Tummy
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|Sat, 05-09-2009 - 2:43pm|
Hey guys, hope you are all well.
Hope you don't mind me sharing my latest drama.
I have been with a great guy now for 2.5 months. He treats me so well and I do feel we are great together.
But I am going through the usual anxiety fear ridden stage where I am full of fear inside.
I am internally picking faults with him as a way to keep my distance but I get so frustrated with myself for doing this.
I wish I could just relax and fall in love but I find getting close full of difficulties and hurdles.
I know it's not a case that he is not the right person and I should look for someone else as I have never met someone I have so much in common with an connect with on all levels but that doesn't take my fears away.
I am scared I am going to sabotage this as I am stressed with a house move but I feel myself mentally pulling away from him.
I am ful of anxiety at the moment and wondering why I feel like this. My mind keeps saying 'what if it's this' 'what if it's that' It really hurts that I am doing this, maybe I am picking up his fears too, but I feel this turmoil in my tummy.
I have spoken before about my fears to him and they go away for a while but then new ones come up.
Is this normal, I just feel like I am scared of someone being so nice to me, I have never been treated like this and so always thought it was because I didn't deserve to treated well.
Is it normal to feel doubts and fears at the beginning of a relationship? Also I know he is new to the area and hates his new job so maybe I feel a bit under pressure that he may become dependant on me, but I don't want to hurt his feelings.