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|Thu, 06-18-2009 - 10:57am|
I can't remember if i'd posted to this board yet. I have posted on depression and menopause ones.
I'm 49, i've been struggling with depression forabout 6 months or more. I decided to call the sexual crisis centre here and have been going for 3 weeks now. I was abused by my father from 12-17. I had a child and kept him. I went into therapy when i was 20 for about a year. I got married and had another child and went on with life. I basically stuffed all my feelings. I've had depression on and off all my life.
So now i'm finding the feeling resurfasing and the depression is worse. What i'm feeling right now is unloved. I've never really had someone who loved me uncoditionally, other than my children. I guess i've always needed love and protection and support and i don't know how to get what i need.
I went from not allowing myself to cry to not being able to stop. I feel like i need to wallow. At the same time i need to do something to make myself feel better but i just don't know what to do. I almost constantly have a headache.
My husband knows i'm going to therapy and he knows about my past. But i can't decide weather or not to share with him how i'm feeling. He's not the most understganding person. He'll ask questions i dn't now how to answer. It usually easier to just not bother. But then who else do i have? NO ONE.