Your thoughts?

Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Your thoughts?
Thu, 07-02-2009 - 12:08pm

Hi all,

I'd really love to hear your thoughts on this: Happiness is a habit I will develop. Happiness is created, not waited for. It's from the New Life program of Women For Sobriety. I actually think it's kind of cool but I welcome hearing what others think. Do you create your happiness or do you wait for it?

**gentle hugs**

**gentle hugs**

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2006
In reply to: opal45
Thu, 07-02-2009 - 2:33pm

Hi Gail,

I definitely believe that happiness developed.


Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
In reply to: opal45
Mon, 07-06-2009 - 10:24am
When I was with my "abusive" ex-husband he was ALWAYS saying HE did x,y,and z to make ME happy..."everything" HE did or tried...I just had to laugh, in between one can make you happy, you either are or aren't and I do believe it's a choice.
My teacher at college said in spite of the adversity and all the things you are facing and have faced in your life your are one of the most "optimistic" people and she said my laughter was contagious.
That made me feel really good.
In spite of life I am a happy person...I do have a quirky sense of humour...and I do find myself just loving life in spite of the highs and lows.
I watched a movie yesterday an old one and the woman said men and women are different in that men feel the jerks like things that are life altering a job loss, divorce, birth of a baby, death whereas women feel flow like a river with everything like those things and so being able to experience and handle it differently.
Sometimes I think that it's true.
Since my heart attack last year I have begun to put myself first.
As women we still tend to put others first but it's changing.
I love my family and friends and do things for them because I want to and not because I have to.
I also realize if I don't or some things don't get done it's not the "end" of the world.
My ex-husband had very high standards of others but not himself.
The very best thing that happened was him leaving me.
Living with him I was not happy.
Living without him doesn't mean I will be happy.
It meant though I could be happier.
Sometimes someone can make you feel less than and your "true" happiness cannot come out...If I am with someone and feel I cannot be myself then I know I cannot be truly happy with them or myself.
Today I am happy!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2000
In reply to: opal45
Tue, 07-07-2009 - 5:16pm

I agree wholeheartedly!

I remember being asked what I wanted from life when I was first in therapy. I responded I wanted to be able to say I was happy 51% of the time.

But I'm much happier than that and I work hard at it. I love watching birds....that's what I did as a little kids being hurt...looked out the window. So I've had feeders where ever I've lived and learned about the birds so they'd come to my feeders. they bring me a lot of happiness. I love my cats too...wasn't allowed to have one until I was older and she became my confidante. So I've always rescued and had cats in varying numbers. I love flowers(but not mother loved roses)so I have gardens with NO roses. They make me smile.

I've spent many long hours trying to figure out what makes me happy and then making that a goal in my life. I love Broadway musicals and I have all sorts of them on CD and DVD and I love to put them on in my car and sing away in privacy. Sometimes the things that make me happy are small but so wonderful for the soul.

No, happiness doesn't come to those who wait for it. Happiness comes to those who go looking for it. I've found a lot of happiness right here on iVillage.

gentle hugs.............JennyB

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
In reply to: opal45
Thu, 07-09-2009 - 4:14pm

I used to "wait" for happiness.