Am I being abusive?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Am I being abusive?
5
Sun, 07-26-2009 - 12:53pm

This is the hardest question I have to ask but I am starting to wonder if I am.

I am quite strong willed and confident in some ways. I was s abused until the age of 5 by my dad.

I am 30 now, have had 2 years of therapy and have temporarily stopped.

I am in a relationship now with I guy I really love to pieces, he is afraid of commitment and this makes my fear of abandonment worse.

We keep having these problems over and over again, he is mildly autistic and I get really upset or mad by some of his behaviour/decisions, in other ways I am really caring, affectionate and supportive.

But, I keep having these temper tantrums where I will go in a huge sulk when he has said or done something I don' like.

I feel like I have given him soooo much, so much stuff love and support etc and I feel like the things I need like stability (he quit his job recently as he wants to start new career so he is living at his parents) he is not giving me.

We keep going round in the same cycles and I am wondering if I am an abuser by my anger, that is passive. but I don't know how to stop these temper tantrums I don't get violent I am just very sulky.

I am so scared I am becoming an abuser like my dad was with my mom.

Help,

Fluppet x
Fluppet x  x
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Sun, 07-26-2009 - 10:18pm
Flup, I don't think you are being abusive.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2006
Mon, 07-27-2009 - 10:19am

I am going to be completely honest with you.

LUCKY

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Thu, 07-30-2009 - 2:29pm

One thing I hate about being abused is the fact I am always always quick to blame myself for things and think I am responsible for others behaviour.

It would appear after much discussion, my partner is comitment phobic which has been causing a lot of problems and disharmony between us.

We are going to work on it but I was so quick to think that it was my fault and my past was the reasons we were having problems, of course I have not been reacting well to the commitment phobia but now I know the problem does not come from me.

Fluppet x
Fluppet x  x
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Sun, 08-02-2009 - 5:40pm
 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Mon, 08-03-2009 - 9:54am
Thanks so much for your support, it really helps so much xxxxxxxxxxxx
Fluppet x
Fluppet x  x