How do you get past....

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2006
How do you get past....
Tue, 07-28-2009 - 12:42am

The feeling that the SA was not your fault?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2002
Sat, 08-01-2009 - 9:28am

Hi Nora,

I too struggled with the guilt for so so long. I always asked myself things like, "Well, what if I had done this, or hadn't done that?" or "Why didn't I do this?" The biggest hurdle for me was that it took me 3 years before I told anyone. I had huge guilt over that one. But, with lots of therapy I finally learned to get past blaming myself for any of it. It would help to notice other children who are the same age I was when the abuse was going on. They are just kids, not asking for any of this. We also did whatever we did to survive. The fact is, no matter when we ended up telling or just getting out of the situation, we came out on the other side. That in itself is an accomplishment and something to be proud of. It just takes time to realize that you did the best you could under such horrible circumstances. I hope this helps a bit.


 BabyFruit Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Tue, 07-28-2009 - 6:10pm
Gail and Lucky are right this it some thing that ALL SA survivors have to face.



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2006
Tue, 07-28-2009 - 10:18am

Isn't strange how we know that abuse is never the fault of the abused but we cannot see that in regards


Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Tue, 07-28-2009 - 6:57am

Guilt. Wow, this is a huge SA issue that I think we ALL struggle with!

I blamed myself for years. It was my way of holding onto some sense of

**gentle hugs**