Is it abuse?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2008
Is it abuse?
8
Fri, 12-11-2009 - 7:00pm

I was SA from the time I was 4 till I was 10 by and older relative who was 8 when he started abusing me and 14 when it stopped.


I was recently told that I wasn't really abused because we were both children and its normal "exploration", and that I should just let it go.


I believe I was abused and carry the scars today. My abuser threatened to hurt me if I told, he told me my family wouldn't love me if I told, he promised that if I just did it "one more time" he would stop. But

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2008
In reply to: blogaddict
Sat, 12-12-2009 - 3:36pm

In my opinion, exploration usually involves some sort of agreement

Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: blogaddict
Sat, 12-12-2009 - 3:39pm

Welcome to the board RHD. I'm really glad you found us b/c I know how lonely it can be to hold this all to yourself all these years. There are a lot of wonderful people here who understand more about what you're dealing with than probably anyone else. So I hope you'll find you're not alone.


In a word, YES. That's abuse but I think you know it is just by the way you wrote your post. Look, whoever told you it was juvenile exploration was wrong. Is there juvenile exploration? Sure there is. And your situation may have started out that way for your perpetrator. Heck, he may have been suffering through his own abuse when he started reaching out to you. But, and that's a big BUT, it went way beyond child's play from what you've described and it sounds as though it

**gentle hugs**

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2008
In reply to: blogaddict
Sat, 12-12-2009 - 4:48pm

I saw a therapist for awhile some time ago, but its been three years since my last session.


To this day, I've never told my family exactly what happened.

Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: blogaddict
Sat, 12-12-2009 - 10:00pm

Oh jeeze, doesn't it just drive you crazy when someone says you

**gentle hugs**

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2004
In reply to: blogaddict
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 1:02am

Hello,


In my opinion it sounds like abuse. It sounds similiar to the abuse I went through, and I've been told orginally that it was "kids being kids". Except my abuser (a cousin) was 7yrs older than I was, and my abuse started around 3-4, and I was raped at age 5.

Alisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
In reply to: blogaddict
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 3:47am
hi
yes i say it was more than just exploring... turned to abuse.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
In reply to: blogaddict
Sun, 12-20-2009 - 1:39pm
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2008
In reply to: blogaddict
Sun, 12-20-2009 - 11:36pm

Thank you all.